Friday, May 31, 2013

Addiction and pain



HI friends.
The top postcard is how I feel today,
I fought last night with anger and pain and loss,
I got a call that is saying my mom needs to get her advanced directive in order, and will
And I dont think it is fair that I have to lose her so soon, and anger at the selfishness of why she is dying. The burden it is on me, not that I dont love being there for my mom and dad, but right now is a bit over the top for me. Just when I need her the most in life.
My mom smoked for about 50 years and a ton too. Often had 2 cigarettes going at once, and as I watched home videos recently she always had one in her had, never was she without one. And as I see it, it is just slow suicide and that is wrong. I begged my entire childhood for her to quit, but she wouldn't and that hurts so much. I feel she chose smoking before me and that sucks.
So today I go to deal with my mother and her addictions and the price we all pay for those things we put before others.
Please pray for me and my family today.
Blessings to you

Always Suszi

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