Having faith when you hate something.

Hi friends,

Sorry it is so late in the day, We had doctor appointments all day today.

Can I say I am really beginning to hate this disease.

Who knew such a minute detail in your body could cause so very many issues,

and be so unpredictable and so hard to follow.

No 2 people who have dup15 have the same symptoms it seems. 

Almost like snowflakes no 2 are alike. So although you can kinda know what might happen, it might not either. So we felt very fortunate not to have had any seizures yet, but it tricked us again and yes she did.

They have begun!! Although i'm not really surprised and although it doesn't scare me for the fact that she has them, (because I had seizures for years) or that they will be a inconvenience in our lives.

I hate the fact that I remember how they make you feel emotionally. I was an adult when mine began so I could deal with the emotions as a mature person and it was so hard. But to watch a child, who for the most part is about as emotional as a 4 year old, and can't control much in her life. Feeling so set apart, or isolated or alone. and that is exactly what they make you feel like, that and so many other emotions. And it is so hard to describe all that you feel and experience it is hard to put into words. So I have so much empathy for these kids. I can say I understand when you can't describe things. I have been there and know. So that knowing  is what concerns me. That is the scary part of knowing, how she will process it all?

And what is next? What do we need to do to prepare for things to come? Who knows.

I guess that is where faith and God come in. He does know and He does understand pain, He does care what is happening in this tiny body, He does love her and wants the best for her, He does give us hope and peace. I guess that is all we need. To have the faith, to put the trust, in Jesus. 

So our journey is sidetracked once again.

So tonight keep Chrissy and all the other dup 15 kids and their families in your prayers.

The journey may be long and tiring, but the goal is worth the time and energy, eternity in Heaven.

Blessings to you and your kids

Kiss them extra tonight and hug them harder.

Always

Suszi

Good Morning friends,

Today Australia is on my mind, well not the country but the ones who live there.

My Oldest brother Jeff and his wife Laura, Their  Daughters: Paige and her family, and three more nieces Elizabeth, Sarah and Gemma, and Tayt my nephew.

Well they are coming here very soon and we are all so excited.

The two youngest children I have not gotten to meet, they are adopted. So if you know me you know one of the most important rolls I play is Auntie. 

My brother and his family move down under several years ago and love it.

Although I miss them dearly, I know that their moving there was the right thing to do.

But I remember the hard decision it was to make, to go there.

And those hard decisions are what brings us blessings I believe.

It shows God your willing to take a risk.

You cannot be held back from His call. 

Are you willing to take a risk like that in your life?

If He says "GO" will you?

Today think what it will take for you to be that person.

Will you go where He sends you?

Pray today God will use you in a mighty way, but remember if you do you had better 

be willing to do it.

Be blessed today

Always 

Suszi

Turn you oughtas into SHOULDs

Good Morning friends,

Today I am thinking about the "Oughtas" 

You know I oughta do this because it should be done.

Or

I oughta work or go to school or get a degree or be this,

 because I learned this or that, even if it makes me unhappy.

I mean like Well I got a convertible so I oughta drive with the top down, even though it is raining.

Because you own a convertible, and the top can go down doesn't mean it ever has to.

Just because you studied a specific thing in college, you oughta work in that field.

 Because I graduated I oughta go to college.

I think we spend to much time worrying about the oughtas in life.

And how we are not living up to those oughtas the "Society" puts on us.

The only things I know for certain I oughta do are, Love God, Love my family, and love others.

I think we get so wrapped up in what we oughta do in life we forget to ask God what we should do.

God can use those degrees and knowledge you thought you oughta use somehow (and make your life miserable by trying so hard), and turn them into shoulds.

Because if we live by this philosophy, we oughta all go to Hell because we all sin.

We oughta not be happy cause the world is so messed up.

WELL we should be happy because God saved us, we should be thankful, We should be open to Gods leading, We should love God, our family and others, We should use our gifts and talents to further the kingdom of God

 We should pray and ask God what we are saying "I oughta" too.

And we need to turn our I oughtas into shoulds.

You SHOULD have a great day.

Be blessed.

Always 

Suszi

Ode to Kelsey

Good morning friends,

Today i'm going to share one of my loves.

The one thing I have loved since the first time I touched a camera.

Photography.

I know I am not the worlds best, but I still love it.

I love to teach it, and help others with it.

I have been mentoring a beautiful, young woman for several years now.

Her name is Kelsey.

She has made me so proud, she has surpassed me in her ability,

 and it is so fun to watch her mature and embrace new ideas.

She is very willing to listen to critique and learn.

I think what she has taught me has been of great value.

To have fun with it again.

Which happens with anything you make a job, 

it loses it's passion after a while and feels like work.

She has so much integrity and kindness.

She is respectful of people and life.

She has a deep spirituality that nothing could waver.

Sure she is young and still has a lot to learn in life, but

I have never meet anyone who is that solid in so may things.

Many things I don't feel solid in sometimes.

Not afraid to let others know she is a Christian and loves Jesus.

It has been my honor to mentor her over the years.

I know life will take her to places I have only dreamed of photographing.

And as she does, as life takes her and tugs at her and she grows and learns, 

I am so thankful God has allowed me to be part of her journey.

This has been one of the most rewarding things I have done.

So look around to see if you can impact someone else by mentoring.

It will inspire you as much as help them.

Be blessed this beautiful day.

Always

Suszi

I hearken back to a simpler time

Good Morning Friends,

After a long relaxing (for the most part)

weekend, I don't have to much on my mind, except the craziness that is my house.

My kids were extra crazy this morning, and whiny.

They are extra demanding today, I barely got to write this.

Some-days are hard being an older parent to young children.

I don't have the stamina I did at 20, but I do have more patience, and a LOT more maturity.

I was so strict With Helena our oldest daughter, maybe to strict. But I think we muddle through the best we can, and pray for Gods grace and wisdom, and hope for the best.

Of course Helena is a fairly normal person, and these two are much needier.

I just know that God is in heaven laughing at me, He has a sense of humor.

Hey Suszi doesn't have enough in her life, give her another child, and let's see what she does.

I can see Him slapping His knee and rolling in laughter.

I wish it was the 1950's, times were simpler, people dressed up to clean house and go to the store.

Children were allowed to wander around town, and everyone watched out for their neighbor. Kids were spanked and made to obey and be respectful. Women were treated like ladies. 

Life was just cleaner it seems. I'm sure it wasn't always the wonderful time it is depicted, but it was as far as children were concerned a freer time, they were allowed to stray farther from home. We were even into the 80's, at least the late 70's. And something in society changed. More evil or threatening to their safety.

We went out in the morning and maybe came home for lunch, but had to be home by dark.

Then we would eat and go back out. Now if you haven't seen your child in half an hour, you frantically search for them. It is so sad our society has come to the point where kids cannot even be free to be kids. 

Not even to mention the technology and it's issues.

But I long for a simpler time and work hard to try and do some of that in our home.

This summer is going to be a summer of fun. Being outside and swimming, and playing and enjoying all that life has to give. And for the sake of Chrissy having her enjoy every single moment of her life. 

This weekend we had what appear to be seizures, which means her condition may be worsening. 

So as our journey brings us on yet another side track, Please pray for her and the changes that are happening to her tiny body, and for wisdom from the doctors. 

I hope you all can look for a simpler life for yourselves today. Not so wrapped up in circumstances but in the Joy only God can bring, and let Him handle all the little things for you.

Be blessed today.

Always

Suszi

To tell the truth..

Good morning friends,

Last night I created a totally new hot-dish with the help of Clare my dear friend Lolly's daughter.

It Was amazing. We were so excited. it was like white Mexican chili.

Anyway I saw it as a triumph and those I will take, every one.

And once again my friends have encouraged and held me up and loved me.

They tell me the truth, whether I want to hear it or not. Not sugar coated, Not watered down.

Honesty that hurts, but truth that brings healing. The hard truth and that is hard to do. 

But having people who speak life into you no matter how hard is so important.

And I am working so hard at learning meekness, learning not to have resentment when someone tells you those hard things. And not to be offended, knowing they love you and only want you to be healthy and whole. 

So many people get offended WAY to easy. And God worked on me a long time ago about this and it is amazing how it made my life so much easier and so much less hurt. 

Offence is one thing to learn but now it is time for the next step.

To learn meekness to go along with it.

And to give all the offences and worries and Joys and triumphs to God because He is the sustainer of life and deserves our praise in all we do good or bad. 

Matthew 5:10-12

The Message (MSG)

10 “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.
11-12 “Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, Ido! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

Today I am standing on this verse. Loving God and being the best mom I can be to my kids.

The best wife I can be. And the joy I feel will wipe out the pain. And life will go on.

So stand on promises and believe that what you do for God, HE will call you blessed.

Be blessed today and remember to bless someone else.

Always

Suszi

Today is....

Good morning friends,

Today is a beautiful and wonderful day.

You know when you get hurt and there is pain from the incident, 

and that initial pain goes away so the healing can begin? 

Today I am at that place. 

Today is about me healing 

Today is about doing something for others.

Today is about Joy.

Today is about loving my kids.

Today is about fun.

Today is about remembering but learning to forgive.

Today is the first step to tomorrow.

Today is about blessings, not curses.

Today is peace.

Today is new beginnings.

Today I hope you find peace in God and draw closer to Him 

and for the things He has planned for you and your family and friends. 

Know you are loved unconditionally and without question.

Know His love and His love is never failing.

Know I love you and pray each day, you are blessed.

Be a blessing to someone everyday.

Always 

Suszi

A journey toward meekness

Good Morning dear friends and faithful readers,

Today I choose joy and a servants heart.

Yesterday I was encouraged to serve someone everyday for the next 12 weeks.

THAT I can do. I usually have no problem with this as long as it is outside my family. I need to serve my husband by cleaning my house and honoring him in this way.

It is a constant thing in my life, and I am working so hard to change my heart on how I look at it.

Changing my heart is what I need to do today.

I am working spiritually on meekness, not being that wet blanket who is quiet and pious. But the question is how to be meek while being bold? I can do it, because meekness is a thing of the heart and not necessarily of the demeanor. It is in this book The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit. Matthew Henry points out that meekness is seen in our response toward God, our relationship with Him, and in our response toward others.

It is a heart matter, You see the essence of meekness as it relates to circumstances in life is the quiet trusting acceptance, not chafing, not resisting, not resenting. It’s knowing that nothing can touch my life apart from the permission of a wise, loving God.

These excerpts are from Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, I love how when you know you want to change something in your life that God knows and sends the wisdom.

You can go to Her website and read on meekness and so much wisdom.

The thing I heard yesterday is that meekness is when someone hurts you your heart isn't filled with resentment but love and that is how I want to be. How I pray I will be.

Life sucks sometime, but God is faithful ALL the time.

For such a time as this, God told Ester and she obeyed and was blessed and I want nothing more then that blessing.

I walk in forgiveness today, I can't forget 

the misdeeds from others OR on my part, but I can learn and accept those I love with grace and unconditional love. I can learn to be the person God made me to be, not quiet and serene BUT, LOUD and uninhibited, I can be meek and who God  intended.. I only want to Honor HIM and praise Him.

And meekness for me will be a struggle and a great lesson learned, it will be a journey of significant proportions. 

Today is a new day.

Try to serve someone today and everyday.

Be blessed 

Always 

Suszi

Drawing closer

Good morning friends,

This is was the verse waiting for me this morning when I got up.

Pray to me in time of trouble. I will rescue you, and you will honor me. — Psalm 50:15 (CEV)

It brought me great comfort, and joy. through the pain I am finding joy, I want nothing more then to honor God.
He is my rock and my fortress, and my deliverer.
My life is amazing and wondrous and all I want is to give God the glory and it is drawing me closer to Him. I have not felt so close to Him in a long time and He has found me in my brokenness and wrapped His arms around me. Sometimes He needs us broken so we come to Him without any agenda or even our self being in control. Totally broke and open to all HE wants to do. Someday soon I will explain how I got this broken and I hope you can find peace and encouragement and draw closer to God. I don't believe He causes these situations, BUT I do believe He uses them for his glory. 
Today I pray for joy and peace, because He is my rock and that is all I need.
Please pray for my whole family, that they also realize what God is doing in this time and that they draw closer to Him and give Him glory. 

The song "He gives strength to me, as I worship Him and my mouth is filled with His praise" will be sung in my head all day and the trials and hardships of today will become, triumphs and peace. 

Today find that joy and peace and if you don't know how to find it ask me or a friend who can show you how to find the giver of the peace.

Hug your kids today they grow up way to fast.

Always
Suszi

Though I am flawed I am cherished

Good Morning friends,

Strength and patience today, something I have little of either way.

This weekend showed me many things, but the most precious was that no matter how you feel God will put friends and people to love and hold you at all times.I am so fortunate to have amazing people in my life. 

I was so lifted up and loved on, calls and hugs and nonstop companionship.

AND my Church, having a pastor and a family of people right where I need them to be Jesus' arms to hold you and cry with you. People who love unconditionally and without judgement or deceit.

So today I am thankful more than anything, I know who loves me and I don't doubt for one second I have a "Family" that loves and knows me and cares what is happening in my world.

I pray my hurt doesn't turn to bitterness and resentment but to more love and grace.

My name means "Full of Grace" and I thought for years it was funny cause I am so clumsy but now I know God loves me and He filled me with grace and wrapped it around me.

My favorite quote is 

"Shame says because I am flawed I am unacceptable, Grace says that though I am flawed I am cherished"

So i choose today to walk in grace and with patience.

Love you all

Have a blessed day

Always 

Suszi

Good morning friends,

I know I have not been cheerful  the past few days,

pain is something that takes time to process.

When people you love more than life itself  hurt you, it is so hard to

give it to God and let go.

I know I should find peace and joy in Christ.

But it is easier said then done.

I did some retail therapy yesterday and that helped, it is an amazing thing a

 half price sale at the thrift store will do for a heavy heart.

But I did have a small success yesterday, I cleaned my stove top and 

threw a bunch of stuff away. Felt good to free myself of clutter. 

Gonna hit another section of my counter today and purge it to its bear self.

Continue to pray for me and my family today.

And I am going to stand on the Word.

"Sorrow may last through the night. but joy comes in the morning"

So today as I fight for joy and peace, remember those who may be hiding their pain and sorrow with a fake smile, and look into their heart and ask God to show you how you can be the best kind of friend and pray for and love them. My friends are amazing and were here just when I needed them. I am so thankful for a group of amazing women who love me because and in spite of myself. 

And that I have a God who listens and soothes my soul and loves me.

So today I am going to praise God for what I have, and try not to hurt for what I lost.

To stand on His word and believe and know His word is true and know

 "The joy of the Lord, is my strength"

So today if your hurting, or full of joy, angry or at peace, 

know that you have a loving God and his grace and mercy never fail.

Chin up.

Be blessed today and know you are loved.

Always 

Suszi

The Matrix - the reality that is family

Good morning friends,

I don't feel much like inspiring and encouraging today sorry.

Do or have you ever gone along and all of a sudden get 

hit on all sides and have the wind knocked out of you, by

those who are supposed to love and care for you?

People who you would do nothing to hurt, only having the best interest 

of those you love in mind, only to find out everyone else thinks

the total opposite of you?

It is like waking up in the Matrix, (I still don't understand that movie) in a world

that you didn't know existed. 

I don't want to or don't even know how to put into words what happened, 

so I will stick to how it effected me.

I realize I could have acted better and handled it with love and kindness, but I felt like a cornered 

mama bear, or an animal in the sights of a gun with no where to run.

Suddenly you are thrust into the twilight zone.

So I am still reeling and getting my mind in order today, so please just keep me and my family 

in your prayers.

Remember to encourage those who are closest to you, most of the time we forget

them and those are the ones who will hurt you the quickest, and the deepest.

I have a thick skin for the world, but I found out that doesn't apply to my family.

Have a blessed day

Always Suszi

Ground Zero-My house

Good morning friends,

Today I fight a never ending battle.

A war I wage everyday and lose at every turn.

The name of the battle is called 

"MY HOUSE, ground zero"

I have been sick for a few days and knew it wasn't great but it is like,

When you walk out one morning and the sick blinders have been taken off

and you see the damage, the bomb that went off and its after effects are glaringly obvious.

Every corner seems untouched.

All the dishes are piled up and a plethora of things strewn about,

Where to begin?

First I need to start with me!! 

MY attitude, my perspective, my willingness and want to serve my family.

What makes them happy? Well I can give that to them, I may not like it,

I may do it kicking and screaming. 

But even though it is hard for me, it is equally pleasing to have my husband come home to a clean house.

He deserves that and so do I.

So today I fight the want to do a 1000 other things and clean.

I can't guarantee success, but I will pray and go on.

I can also honor God in the attitude I have while I do these things.

I can do it without grumbling and complaining.

With joy and with a servants heart.

So now my coffee is drunk and my blog is written, so I 

need to get my butt out of my chair and get to work.

Here I go. Yep getting up. ok one more cup of coffee.

THEN here I go.

Have a blessed day, find a friend who is overwhelmed with their house and go help them today, 

it is amazing the productivity of 2 people working together. (HINT)

Always

Suszi

Change, Can you make it?

Good morning friends,

Today is hard to write my kids won't shut up

Summer is not so much fun yet. I have been sick and the kids are bored.

I have been feeling bad about my weight, again. It is a never ending thing with me.

But I had a doctor appointment and had to get on the scale. AHHHH.

So where to begin? In my head! That is the hardest part. 

It is not that I don't think I look fine, and beautiful. But I need to feel better.

I hate walking and I only run if i'm being chased by a rabid dog or a grizzly bear. 

But I also know if I don't make a change it will get worse.

Making changes is hard for me and get's worse with age.

I am a spontaneous person who doesn't like change, figure that one out.

But life is constantly changing and moving forward and 

as much as I would love my kids to stay babies

 or my job to stay the same, it is impossible. 

Embrace the change!! Is what I must do.

It is a day by day thing. But the goal is worth the work.

As with any goal it is a process. 

So today I strive to change and love it.

Do you have changes in life you need to make?

Ask God to show you those things, and help you do it.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi

Graduation and dreams gone astray

Good Morning friends,

It was a weekend of graduations, more like a month of them,

we had 2 yesterday and several over the next few weekends.

It got me thinking about my graduation and life after high school.

In high school my plan was to go to a fashion design college in Dallas TX.

First I was going to spend a summer in NYC working with Teen Challenge,

Then go to TX in the fall. Well life is so funny that way isn't it? In April I met Dave, and I really wasn't to impressed, he was a jock and yeah kind of a nerd. 

Well we had an impromptu date in May just a bunch of us getting together. 

We'll that ended my college career, and started me on a different path entirely.

Not that I regret making the decision I made, because as of May 18th,

 Dave and I have been together for 24 years, and 5 of them have been amazing. (kidding) 

Marriage is hard and rewarding.

Raising children has it's own set of guidelines for happiness and we'll look at that another day.

I don't regret not going on my adventures before marriage, I do wish I could travel more, but someday maybe.

What I really think is on my heart is no matter what path you took in life or the journeys you may or may not have taken, there is a reason for those decisions and it may take us 25 years or more to understand where or why God is sending us that way, but have faith and know it is the right thing and if you don't get your dreams, just maybe God has a bigger and better one in store for you, so be open to His moving and not so set on a goal,that you can't change course. 

Congratulations to all our Graduates

and

Blessings to all my friends

Always

Suszi

Unexpected side trips

Good Morning friends,

Summer vacation is finally here, or already here maybe,

Yesterday was a side trip in my journey, and a fun one, I had a day without children, Thanks Megan.

So what do I do? Glad you asked, I went to a picnic with about 200 third graders. 

AND I just happen to find my face painting stuff in my van.

So if you know me at all, well that is a lethal combination hehehe.

I painted every face at least 3 times no exaggeration. Loads of flaming baseballs and mustaches.

I think I showed Angie a new career path hehe. (she painted the white circles for the balls) 

But it was so fun to be spontaneous and silly. and well Caleb (Angie's 3rd grade son) was the coolest kid ever to all the other 3rd graders, and that was where my joy abounded seeing those pats on the back and the pride in his little heart.

I think what was so interesting and do almost every time I do this is, the first kid sets the tone. Whatever he or she gets, is what nearly they all get. But there is that one person always that stands out to me, usually a quiet one, that goes against the flow, wants something totally different. I guess they remind me of myself.

I always like going against the flow and being a bit off kilter. Just enough hillbilly and white trash to make me funny. I think my husband wishes I was more normal at times, when God created me I think He was laughing. As I grow and mature, I look to Him and try to see His reason and purpose for my life. I may never know fully, and I hope to strive to please Him. I know He has to switch out my guardian angels, so they can rest, I know I wear them out. One of my hopes is that His joy spills over in me. That He is pleased with the choices I make. I have so many areas in my life I need work. But He knows me and He created me, so He knows me well and I just hope He is honored enough, I know I keep Him laughing. 

I pictured my life so differently when I planned it long ago, and how I feel content knowing I am in a place He put me, doing what He wants, for the most part. Striving toward the plans He has for me. 

So today I try not to be one of those kids who follows and copies the one ahead of me, but to be the one with new life and originality, that pleases the creator and makes Him smile.

Blessing someone today by mowing their lawn would be amazing. 

(Since their mower is broke hint hint hehehe)

Bless a friend or a friends child and bring joy to someone today

Always 

Suszi

Kindergarten Memories old and new

Good morning friends,

Today is a sad day, my baby finishes kindergarten. 

He is so excited but he is also sad because it is his last day with Mrs. Kluntz.

He loves this woman, adores her mainly.
So finding a appropriate gift for her was hard. I looked at all the usual apple ideas and finding nothing that 

truly expressed his feelings, until she said something at the picnic the other day about loving her job because she saw the growth of the kids over the year. So it got me thinking, (scary) what grows? Something she could watch grow? flower (over done) seeds (to much work)  Hummm? A TREE. I got it so then the hunt for a nice poem to go with it. NADA. So I wrote the one above, just for her to thank her for helping with this year of growth in my baby.

My kindergarten teacher was Mrs. Anderson, oh how I loved her. She is the first people to show me how to be creative in a huge way. I still remember so much of what she taught us, most of all I remember the giant paper mache' giraffe. like 6 ft tall and of course it was perfect, at least in my memory, but I am sure it was interesting at mos,t being done by 20, 5 year olds. I remember her patience I was scared of going, my dear sweet brothers told me teachers were all evil witches, so I had a bit of anxiety. She quickly calmed my fears. My greatest accomplishment was learning to tie my shoes, while my son learned how to read in kindergarten.  We only had half day school then and I was afternoon because I was a country kid. I remember the room, the desks, and mostly the smell. Isn't it funny how we remember the smallest things? The last time I remember seeing Mrs. Anderson was at my High school graduation. She said I was the only one to ever invite her to one. But she had made such an impact on me and shaped me and gave me courage and patience, I owed it to her to thank her. Im sure she is gone now, but when I go to my home town I drive by her old house and smile at those precious memories. 

So today remember your kindergarten teacher , and thank her for what she did for you.

So thank you Mrs'. Anderson for my memories, and

a special Thank you to Mrs. Kluntz for starting my son

off on his education with excitement and wonder.

Have a blessed day

Always
Suszi

Climbing out of a valley

Good morning friends,

I realized my last few posts were kinda downers so I thought I would crawl out of my valley and look for a mountain to climb.  How is that for analogy's.

But I have forgotten the most important part of being in a low place, and that is to worship and praise God for everything even our discontent and anger.

Yesterday I rested and prayed and slept. It was so needed and felt so wonderful.

Today I have a clearer mind and a lighter heart.

I think sometimes when we are in a deep valley we just expect to find an elevator to bring us to the top quickly, but I see it more as a clawing and scrambling up a muddy slope and slipping and I would be laughing because your face would be dirty.

I feel joy today and excitement I get to craft and plan things. I have some graduation things to do and wedding things and invites to send and a teacher gift to buy.

I decided I am going to get Ian's kindergarten teacher a tree to plant because she has sown the seeds and started this young sapling on a sure footing for growth. 

I'm full of analogies today sorry.

So a busy day ahead and visiting the hospital and my mom and being a good daughter.

so today if you feel like your in a deep valley, look up and start climbing it maybe fun.

Smile at a stranger, be a friend hug your mama.

Have a blessed day

always

Suszi

Grace and peace to our enemies

Good Morning friends,

I heard a great message yesterday about our enemies, and I was blessed, they spoke from Psalms 31, and it spoke to my heart right where I was at, isn't amazing how God does that through radio or t.v.? and people say He doesn't speak now days.

Sometimes our enemies are within our close proximity our own family members perhaps? Well mine are lately and that makes it even harder to deal with.

God promises to deal with our tormentors His way and although we don't understand His timing He promises He will, and then our part is to not sin by opening our mouth. OK that HURT!!! That is where i screw up all the time, I am not afraid to tell people what I think which I guess isn't bad but, when I don't do it with love and grace, it is sin. plain and simple. AND BOY do I fall into that easily. especially with my brothers. I love my brothers, but I cannot deal with their lives anymore, One is a drug addict and has been my entire life, in and out of treatment and hospitals and jail and prison, and he just doesn't get it, so a long time ago I let go of him and his life, I still love him but detached myself from his addiction and the hurt he causes my family. But now it is a fight for the safety of our parents so once again I have to deal with him and addiction. You see there are no more one more chances, and yes I would love to see him come back to Christ, but it is no longer my duty to worry about and defend, once you give something to God you cannot take it back, and I refuse to do that, I have to let God do what He wants, because with me those strings are severed and bridges burned, and energy spent. 

Kinda like Karma but God's way.

So yesterday I acted in love towards the situation and with grace and i did better and as my hubby says "I didn't let my hillbilly out". The hardest thing is my dad, he feels he has to defend him and he enables him so it is hard to fight against my dad also, but It is my job to protect my mom. so we do what we must. 

I think ill paint Grace and peace on my wall today so i can read it and grind it into my spirit. 

So if you are facing something that seems insurmountable today, pray for grace and peace and let God handle the rest.

Have a blessed day

Always 

Suszi

Crime passion and yelling, such is life

I thought these were appropriate for this Monday morning.

Good Morning friends,

What a weekend indeed, crime, passion, yelling, man I wonder if people would watch a sitcom 

based on my life? A combination of CSI and I love Lucy? 

Have you ever seen a movie and the war is raging and one side is nearly defeated, and overcome and somewhere they dig down deep and find that last little piece of themselves to get victory against all odds?

We'll today is like that, finding that victory, and doing it with grace and calm, OK and a little redneck hillbilly too, but Going into it prayerfully and expecting God to do His will today and not mine. 

Life is tough and full of tough decisions, and when you get frustrated and upset, Go shopping hehehe 

My cousin and I spent 3 wonderful hours in Hobby Lobby Saturday and it was what I needed to get my mind back in focus. Nothing like planning a party to get me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I LOVE IT and that is an understatement. Last year after my eldest daughter got married I think everyone was worried that I wouldn't know what to do with myself, well I just planned another party. I have 3 coming up and several I am helping with so right now is the part I love, The Hunt, to make it have that little extra umph the little things that make people say wow, not that they are required or necessary things but the things people remember and cherish, the cherry on the sundae type things. These are the things that relieve my mind of worry about the rest of life. Today some very hard decisions will be made in my life and my families life concerning my parents, some will like those and others won't, but at the end of the day I have to do the best job I can with the tools im given and do the best for them. So today pray for our family and yours, my family isnt afraid to discuss hard issues and I guess I didn't think that weird until someone said they have never had a talk with their parents like that. huh? 

I guess I thought that all families have big mouths was wrong, well we sure do, there are no skeletons in our closets cause we can't afford closets maybe. I digress hehe.

Today maybe a tough day or an easy day for you, but don't forget to give it to God either way and He will 

carry the load for you.

Blessings to you today

Always Suszi