When sorrow shakes you...

Good Morning friends,

Well my vacation was good and bad.

The weather and green and flowers and warmth, were amazing.

I was able to serve my friend, by helping ready her house for sale.

She then blessed me with so many tools to start making fairies.

It was also a tragic time, my family (dad, brother) let me down once again.

I don't know what hurts worse, losing someone through death, or having them alive and lying and treating you badly? When you trust someone, and love them unconditionally there is no room for hurt.

When that "love" is superficial, there is pain at every turn.

When your looks are embarrassing to them, and your parenting doesn't work like they think it should.

It hurts beyond compare, to have those close to you be ashamed.

This is where I hold up my head and say "This will not hurt me" but. more importantly "This will not separate me from the love of God"

When bad things happen and life goes not as planned, He is there.

My dear friend sent this to me today and having someone who understands.

Thanks Teretha.

When Your burdens Seem to weigh You down Or the road seems to far to carry on Just look to the hills You will find Your help which comes from the Lord Even when You feel You can't go on, let Your soul cry out to the Lord. Cry on....God understands Your tears.

He knows how much that You can bear, the faintest cries He hears. Cry on, when there's nothing else to say. Soon He'll wipe all Your tears away. ~Song by "Commissioned" Be encouraged by these words.

Sometimes life doesn't seem to go as planned.

Once again God comforts me. The radio or friends words send healing.

The one thing that stood out on the radio, was they gave a little summery on Job. And if you have been reading lately I have been looking to that part of the Bible for help.

What I heard was that God blessed Job at the end with more then he had.

That you want to shout" hang in there Job it turns out OK."

In the midst of struggle it is hard to see the end or the joy or reward. But God knows, so we need to trust Him that the end will be to His glory.

My mom always said "This too shall Pass"

and It will, but the scars will remain to remind you of the pain.

I pray today God shines down His grace and peace on me and You.

I may feel joy and Love that is unconditional and not with strings attached.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Always

Suszi

STEP

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you—

Job 5 says

and

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you.

Good Morning friends,

Yesterday was a very hard day for some of you.

It was the one year anniversary of the death of a wonderful young man in our church.

Will was loved and his parents are so dear to me. God has done some amazing things through this situation and like Job we learn to praise God even in tough times.

It seemed that was the start of the deaths last year for me.

It has felt like a long time since I have felt released from grief.

I no longer feel the suffocating weight of  pain and loss.

My joy has returned to an extent, but this has been the winter of discontent literally.

I am going to start in depth study of Job. Today I made a list of the qualities of Job.

I guess being like job first requires we get to know Job.

He was honest inside and out.

He was a man of his word.

Totally and whole heartily devoted to God.

He hated evil passionately.

He cared deeply about the souls of his children.

He wholly relied on God.

I would love to say "Yep,  I got this. I am just like that."

But sadly no.

I am honest almost to a fault, but I don't think I live it inside and out.

I am more of a person who speaks many words.

I am devoted to God. Do I do it whole heartily? no.

I do hate evil, but yet it sneaks in when we are unaware.

I do care about the souls of my children, but unlike Job would, I don't sacrifice to it.

I do rely on God, but I am also strong willed and opinionated, I want to things done now so lets "Get -r-done" (sorry hillbilly is showing a bit there)

Ok so this is not going to be easy. 

Nothing worth it, is ever easy is it?

God knew Job's heart. He knew he wouldn't curse Him.

God had complete faith in Job, as well as Job did for God.

Does God Have that kind of faith in me? 

I hope He has a lot more for me than I have for Him and

that I cannot be measured by comparison.

Oh how lovely is Grace?

How does one live through endless trials?

How much can one human bear?

I guess...

As many as it takes for God to rule supreme and

only as much as I take on, He can handle it without my help.

I always say, "We need to do more than survive. We need to live!!"

Take a step, we cannot over come or find an end to this journey if we don't just step.

This is probably all stuff I have said before, but it is also what I needed to hear today in my spirit, so I can drag my lazy butt out of this amazing chair, and STEP.

Have a blessed day. 

STEP.

Always

Suszi

GGGGRRRRRrrrrrr.

Good morning friends,

I wasn't going to write today, because I have been on edge grouchy for 2 days.

I don't like being sick, I am sick of cold, I want my flip flops, My kids and hubby are making me crazy, I haven't had coffee in 2 days, I am grouchy, I REALLY want my flip flops.

Sorry

Someone posted on their wall today that it is HIGH 5 DAY, give those around you a high 5 for being the best them they can be. Immediately my brain thinks how many times can you high 5 someone in the head before you get arrested? See told you a bad mood.

I had so many friends who needed prayer today and that is so important, maybe if I concentrated on that and my mood less, in my mind it works, we will see.

So this is my verse for the day

So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books. 2 Peter 1:5-8MSG

I was going to put a different verse but this one was up there and convicted me.

I need to be more alert of my attitudes, and mouth.

I need to act like the mature christian I am.
OK COFFEE. my world is right again.
Today is the day for Ian's 7th birthday party.
I am so proud of him and all he does, well most of what he does.
He is a very active boy and also he is Latino, and hot blooded.
He does everything with passion. Good and bad.
We are celebrating with his first friend party.
A Halo / Nerf War. Junk food, sugar, tons of boys.
His eyes are sparkly this morning with excitement. I love when he is like that.
I sure love that boy so much.
Keep me in your prayers today.
thank you my friends.

Always
Suszi.

\

It isn't going to get me down.

Good Morning friends,

I apologize for my distance lately, I have been going through a trial.

I have been sick most of my life, never knowing what caused it. I have been told I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and many other things. I have felt like I have a huge infection for a long time, without the cause. I in the past few weeks have been diagnosed with Behcet's Syndrome and there is now a probability that I also have an additional auto immune disease with that. An auto immune disease is when your body attacks the cells are healthy. Mine is a a disease of the Mucus membranes. It causes boils and blisters, scarring and a lot of pain. I am currently in the midst of a 2 year episode. Stress causes out breaks as well as exhaustion. I am learning to relax and rest. But if you know me at all, you know how hard that is for me

I also have to learn to change my life style. How I eat, exercise, stress. Change is not easy for me. My biggest fear is losing my eye site. I thought that was happening but found out yesterday the issues I have been having are due to age not Behcets, So I am under constant supervision from 6 doctors and at least the symptoms can be treated. It has made me happy to find out that this hasn't all been in my head, or psychological which is how you feel after so many years of not knowing. 

I now have to accept myself the way I am, The meds I will have to take make you gain weight, so I think I will never be my high school weight again but God works in wondrous ways, I just want to be healthy.

I just thank God my sight isn't going, that was very frightening to me, I guess it makes me feel better about glasses since My sight isn't at risk. PRAISE JESUS, and I will continue to pray it doesn't get to be bad.

Thanks for all the support from my friends and My husband and family.

You never know what life is going to throw at you, but standing in grace and peace knowing God is in control, makes me feel so much better. It is not my place to worry, but pray and give it to God.

Thanks so much for the prayer.

Always

Suszi