Loud and long and clear....

Good morning friends,

Do you ever get a song in your head? A silly song?

I have had "I love to laugh" from

Mary Poppins.

It is contagious.

Laughter is so healing. 

I used to laugh so much but lately it has seemed farther between.

But now the people in my life make me laugh those deep belly laughs.

Years ago I had a mental breakdown, from a very stressful job.

I was inconsolable it was a dark time for me. Then I decided to to watch "Who's line is it Anyway"

That show saved my life. We laughed so hard. 

Psalm 89:15

King James Version (KJV)

15 Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they shall walk, O Lord, in the light of thy countenance.

There are so many places and verses that talk about joy. It gives us strength, frees our heart, sets us alight.

My thought is that if God is so deliberate about putting it in His word, maybe He wants us happy.

I know God laughs and has a sense of humor.

Why else would he give a old, crazy Irish-hillbilly, a hot blooded Latino boy with endless energy?

I know God was in His Glory, saying "Hey, lets give him to Suszi, that'll be funny" 

I love that boy with such deepness as if I bore him myself.

Joy and laughter are so important. I have an odd sense of humor and often find things funny that others don't. Like when people fall or trip, not that I want them hurt but, it is funny.

Happiness is a choice. If you are depressed and sad, you have to make an effort to laugh but it is worth it. Find friends who laugh, it is so helpful. Pray for joy, dance a silly dance, play and have fun. I think as adults we forget to play and have fun, and be silly. We think we have to be mature and grown up.

I often am irreverent, and I try not to be but once in a while when something tickles me, I cannot hold it in.

So find something to laugh about today.

Pray to bring that joy into your heart.

If you need to laugh, laugh at me, I am quite certain you can find something funny.

Like the fact that I am trying to write this about laughter, and my child is being so nerve racking, and the tv kids are singing off key, and I am now out of coffee (my 2nd cup) in my cup. It is a 3 cup day I believe.

God I need a TON of that JOY today.

Be blessed

Always

Suszi

LET IT GO...

Good morning friends,

Today I write with pride. I have written about Kelsey before.

But today is a bit different. 

I am so proud of her, she is getting asked to help professional photographers, and to do weddings, and advertise her work because it stands out.

As her mentor that is an amazing feeling.

Then I realized something.

I am a photographer too. Why is it I am not jealous. 

I am just so excited for her.

Then God showed me, When you mentor someone you want the very best for them.

Like any ministry, you need to work yourself out of a job.

To be happy for the one you helped. 

There can be no jealousy or bad feelings, because you have given your whole heart into it.

But I can see where people would get jealous or have hard feelings.

Like recently me and Kelsey were at a family function and my nephew who is a professional photographer, and he asked Kelsey to help him at a wedding, I was so excited for her, then it dawned on me, hey why didn't he ask you? I was so proud and happy it didn't matter. Although I gave him a hard time for asking her in front of me. hehehe

But my thought is that, how many times to we hold onto things so hard, or want something so bad, that when someone else gets it your jealous and you get angry?

I guess it shocked me that I didn't feel those things, just joy and pride.

FINALLY I GOT SOMETHING RIGHT. YAHOOO

I believe God will bless that. 

And I feel such freedom, wow, if I did feel those things, I would be in bondage.

How many times do we do that?

Hold on so tight to things, that we can't be be happy for others.

What are you hanging onto that you need to let go of? 

Pain, pride, perfectionism, ministry, friends, family.

Can you let it go? Do you want to?

When I was at the doctor getting Chrissy's diagnosis, and the Doctor told us that "Early demise" was eminent. That moment was amazing, I felt panic start to grip my heart, and it felt like God stopped time and spoke to me. He said "You have a choice right now."

"You can either live in fear, panic ridden, in bondage.

Or you can Let me have this"

It felt like hours in that second of time.

I told the Doctor "I guess I'll give that to God."

Immediately the fear left, and the Doctor nearly fell off her chair.

She didn't think she would get that response I guess.

But I just let it go. Walked out of there in peace.

I still feel that peace. Although I know it will happen someday, I live in peace,

Sometimes I am afraid to go in to her room in the morning, but I pray and go.

God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of peace and love and a sound mind.

Go in peace today, love your kids, LET GO.

Always

Suszi

Inspiration from the past...

Good morning friends,

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the Mercy seat.

So until I understand it better I am going to lighten up a bit.

When I was in 7th grade, I went to a private school, I remember a few things about that year, I got red cords and a sweater for school, oh and a perm like an afro. We went that year to AZ for a few months during the school year. And I fell in love and had my first kiss.

Another thing I remember so clearly was Wendy Darge and her project she made.

It was a diorama. Had a river and tree's and grass it was so amazing. I remember how excited I was I wanted to make something like that. It stirred something in me. 

Inspired me, it only took about 30 years for me to do it right. I have helped make cool things with my kids for school, but once I discovered Fairy houses, I knew I had fulfilled that passion.

I usually just make the houses or furniture, but this time I made the entire landscape.

I love this stuff. The size is amazing, and there are no rules because they are fairies, they can be any size. 

I use all stuff I find, outside at thrift stores, garbage, tons of stuff, so I guess in a way I am upcycling.

Maybe that will make Dave happier about me having big bins of building materials.

He is so funny cause he grumbles about the stuff, but once in a while against his better judgement, he will bring me something for my houses, he is so sweet.

I am so thankful he lets me craft to my hearts content. (If I clean up after)

My craft room is nearly done being reorganized and it is so easy to work in now.

I don't know if anyone will buy my houses, but I hope so, I enjoy the imagination part of it.

Deciding What they will do there and how they will live. It is so fun, almost an escape, to a different place. 

My very best friend was JoAnna and it is so amazing how God works. I was sitting here thinking about her (Her name now is Faith) and she messaged me to say she was praying for me, and sent me to a song on youtube here is the link 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPO3meEuU24

about holding on to His promises. 

Thank you Faith.

It is so amazing how good God is, He uplifts us and cares for us from every side.

Thank you for being a lifelong friend who prays for us.

So be blessed today and watch this video and be blessed.

Find something you love and explore it today.

Always

Suszi

Here are a few photo's of my fairy house, I just made.

Photos by Kelsey Millican Photography.

I'm running to the mercy seat...

Good morning friends,

The past few days have been so full of laughter,

There are always so many people at my house and every day seems like an adventure.

Laughter is so healing.

I have had the Mercy seat on my mind and what that truly means.

I mean I understand it in theory it is a place of mercy.

But really what does the mercy seat mean?

Is it an actual seat? or a metaphor? 

In Exodus 25, it talks about the exact measurement for the Arc of the Covenant, including, the lid, or covering.

Wikipedia says this,

 The account also states that two golden statues of cherubim were placed at each end of the cover, facing one another and the cover, with their wings spread in order to enclose the cover; (Exodus 25:18-21) according to the Books of Samuel, these cherubim together formed a seat for Yahweh (1 Samuel 4:4) Although a literal interpretation of the Book of Exodus would conclude that the mercy seat, along with the remainder of the Ark, was constructed according to the commands of Yahweh at the time of Moses.

So once the veil of the Holy of Holies was torn, did the seat become a symbolic thing? 

Maybe if we look at mercy.

mer·cy

  [mur-see]

noun, plural mer·cies 

1.

compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender, an enemy, or other person in one's power; compassion, pity, or benevolence: Have mercy on the poor sinner.

2.

the disposition to be compassionate or forbearing: an adversary wholly without mercy.

3.

the discretionary power of a judge to pardon someone or to mitigate punishment, especially to send to prison rather than invoke the death penalty.

4.

an act of kindness, compassion, or favor: She has performed countless small mercies for her friends and neighbors.

5.

something that gives evidence of divine favor; blessing: It was just a mercy we had our seat belts on when it happened.

Kindly forbearance shown toward an offender.

I am thinking That grace and mercy go hand in hand.

God has grace and shows mercy.

Today I need that mercy and grace. there are so many times I fall short.

I get frustrated and upset when things don't go right.

Like today I just want to write and have so much to say, but I have a sick boy who is whiney and wants to have a nerf gun war, Hunger abounds, people cleaning and PCA is working. So in the midst of chaos I try to write about grace and mercy without being gracious which is kinda funny. Not that any of those things is bad but all together craziness. I take a deep breath and try to concentrate over Sesame Street. 

So I pray today you and I have time to think on God's mercy.

Pray for grace.

Have a blessed day.

Always

Suszi

Know He is GOD.

Good Morning Friends,

Wow today I have had a wacky morning or rather my daughter has, Rambling and singing the wheels on the bus, and changing clothes and bouncing around and interrupting and pure silliness which would not be a problem if she was 3 but she is nearly 15 1/2  and it is hard some days to bear.

I used to worry about everything.

I still do to some extent, but not to the point of desperation.

I guess I finally realized that God is in control He will make His will be done.

I know so many Christians who wait for years to hear what God is trying to tell them, 

When he was saying all along "Be still and know I am God".

There are times when I get obsessed with something, and I can't seem to drop it out of my mind.

Do you ever feel that way?

Or make mountains out of molehills?

I did, but God has given me a clearer understanding of faith and grace.

I don't know why people die when they are doing so much for the Kingdom? I don't know why babies are born one after another, to people who cannot care for them, and not to those who want them so desperately, I don't know why people are hungry and hurting right in our neighborhoods, or why people have to buy a huge house and car they can't afford to keep up with neighbors? 

Be still and know I am GOD.

When was the last time you were still before God?

For me it is rare...To far between times.

I can barely go the bathroom alone much less carve out time for God,

But we must.

Those fears and overwhelming stresses.

Do we think He cannot handle them?

Or just that we can do it better?

Ummmmm???

Do you think He created Panic attacks? 

NO!!

He wants us to have Joy and peace and freedom and to have it abundantly.

God Has not given us the spirit of fear

but of peace and love and a sound mind

Philippians 4:13

If God didn't give us those things where did they come from?

If these aren't the things He wants us to feel, why are we holding onto them?

How do we escape stress and panic? 

Well we really can't escape the worries of the world, but we can walk in truth, 

knowing He is in control and we aren't in this alone.

How do we change our way of thinking and worrying?

I am not a Biblical scholar, I cannot even spell it right.

But I do know God, and I do know His word and prayer,

So I figure if we pray and read and meditate on Him. 

Those other things will fade away.

There are so many things God promises us but we are so wrapped up in our lives to grab ahold of those promises and cling to them.

 Like when your momma walked out of your first day of kindergarten.

You held so tight to her and you had so much fear and worry.

But this beautiful wonderful person was there to say "It will be ok" and lead you on a path of learning and fun. We just have to let go.

  LET GO!!!

Know He is GOD and his mercy and truth and joy are waiting for you.

That worry and fear will vanish.

Know HE IS GOD!!!!

Be blessed today.

And go in Joy and give God the rest.

Always

Suszi

new life brings joy.....

Good Morning friends,

Today is a joyful day.

I was privileged to take photos for my cousin and the birth of her new baby.

Brooklyn Marie.

This has been a week of extreme emotions.

Death and life.

It is always a great joy to see a birth.

They are amazing things. (especially for me I hate blood and fluids)

The human body is remarkable.

It flabbergasts me everytime I see it, the body in all its miraculous abilities.

I can think of nothing more awe inspiring then bringing a life into the world.

I was also so jealous, I want a grandbaby ahemmm.

Anywhooo

Ashley the momma was tremendous, hardly a peep out of her.

Such strength and patience.

We got to see God glorified in that place, because I have no idea how people watch a birth and cannot say there is a God. The body design alone. WOW

I spent about 10 hours there yesterday, but Ashley and her momma Sharon, were there since midnight the night before. It was a very calm labor and Ash handled it with grace.

The sweet joy on her face when she first looked at this miracle was so wonderful.

Unless you have had a baby you could never understand the idea of that much pain just disappearing the second you see this miracle. Amazing.

This baby will be so spoiled and loved, she already has a ton of clothes and accessories.

She will never want for anything.

The love that was apparent and over flowing in that room was so wonderful and lovely.

Congratulations

Ashley

GMA Sharon

And Welcome to the World

Brooklyn

May your life be blessed and filled with love and laughter, 

may you never know hunger or want, 

may the pain of life make you strong not bitter, 

and I pray you learn to love God, 

and know you are loved every day.

Love you all so much, and thank you for allowing me the privilege of being there.

Be blessed today.

Always 

Suszi

hurry up and w.a.i.t.and wait and wait...

Good morning,

Missed writing to you yesterday but we had to be on the road by 7:45.

Have you ever had a day of hurry up and wait?

That was yesterday, but you know cool things happen when you do.

We had to go to Mayo / St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester yesterday.

It was one of those days.

We started good enough and had to stop for gas, still made it in plenty of time.

Got to the pre-op area just before 9:30 we were doing good. 

THEN.....

We got Chrissy ready and into hospital gown, then they told us it would be about 15 minutes late. No problem.

She finally went in at 11:45. o'fda 

ok well it takes just less then 2 hours so we're good.

See we had another appointment at neurology at Mayo clinic across town at 3:45

and my dear Lolly had to be back in town by 6 p.m..

SOOOOooooo.

she got out just about 2 and got back to our room and ate and recovered and woke up,

Since we had to wait so long in the morning they gave us vouchers for snacks and drinks and for free parking.

Sooooo.

Since parking is free at St. Marys why go through all that change and just shuttle over.

Did that, went great,

we got to Neurology and waited about an hour, which was ok since it was nearly an hour early for our appointment. Then we waited longer...

and longer...

They got us in a room YIPEEE at 4, we can do this...

AND we wait....nearly and hour in a tiny room that has the heat blasting, Lolly is falling asleep, im irritated (I don't do heat well)

I opened the door and sweet relief....

Then...we WaItEd.......

YES the Doctor has arrived...

we then look at every slice from every angle of Chrissy's brain

 and neck which is cool if you have time.  

She is an amazing Doctor never makes you feel rushed or anything answers all your questions,

explains everything so it make sense, so amazing, 

unless you are in a hurry...

then She had to make a dosage chart.... and fix it...and fix it...

Finally were done and it is now 5:45.

AND

The last shuttle leaves at 5:30...

SO...huh...

Well Chrissy and I got to take our first taxi ride which was just like riding in a minivan huh.

(so our parking pass money we saved, was paying for the taxi mind you)

Back to the car finally,

Chrissy hasn't eaten all day just a few snacks, ok a quick stop at the Golden Arched place.

And were off.

We finally got home at 7 :20...

Lolly was only an hour and a half late for rehearsal for the play she is directing...

I sat in my chair and didn't move the rest of the night, exhausted.

So yesterday was tough, but it was also great because there are so many wonderful people,

all over to meet and talk to. We got a chance to meet so many of them.

Do you ever get so wrapped up in your schedule you forget to ask God what do you want of me?

I do..and I wish I didn't...

All I can do is pray for those I met and hope they have someone who isn't running so fast they forget to stop and pray.

Like me...

This is something I have been trying to make myself stop doing, and I failed yesterday.

I guess that is where grace comes into play.

I am so thankful for that grace.

So today is a rest day, unless....

My cousins daughter went in to have her baby, so now it is hurry up and wait some more.

But photos are needed and I am just the one to take them...

So pray today for this new life coming into the world.

Be blessed and slow down and pray.

I will too, or at least try.

Always 

Suszi

Renewal of our mind.....

 

trans·par·ent

  [trans-pair-uhnt, -par-]  Show IPA

adjective

1.

having the property of transmitting rays of light through its substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.

2.

admitting the passage of light through interstices.

3.

so sheer as to permit light to pass through; diaphanous.

4.

easily seen through, recognized, or detected: transparent excuses.

5.

manifest; obvious: a story with a transparent plot.

World English Dictionary

transparent  (trænsˈpærənt, -ˈpɛər-)
— adj
1.	permitting the uninterrupted passage of light; clear: a window is transparent
2.	easy to see through, understand, or recognize; obvious
3.	(of a substance or object) permitting the free passage of electromagnetic radiation: a substance that istransparent to X-rays
4.	candid, open, or frank Good Morning friends, I thought I would look up the definition of being transparent.  I was so shocked to see nearly what we were talking about in the definition.  Candid, Open, Frank, Easily understood or recognized, Easy to see through. But I think what really stood out for me Is that it allows the uninterrupted  passage of light to come through.  Jesus once again addressed them: “I am the world’s Light. No one who follows me stumbles around in the darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in.”  John 8:11-13

WOW.  I Don't know if that blew your breath away like it did me. Uninterrupted light? Like I have to let God do anything HE wants anytime HE wants, anyWay HE wants? 

I also looked up the antonyms for Transparent (Those are the opposite)

Antonyms for transparent

• blocked
• cloudy
• dark

• opaque
• questionable
• unclear

• unintelligible
• Vague

And now seeing these are they really anything we want to be? Not me.

God wants Broken vessels, people who He can use. 

Are you a heavy clay pot? or a clear glass bottle?

Is your faith questionable, Unintelligible, unclear?

I realize today is a ton of questions, because I am learning this too as we go on this journey.

The Jehovah Witnesses, are very obvious. Ever wonder why? Because they literally wear their religion, white shirt, black pants, tie, name tag. You can see them a mile away. But the thing about them is they are Not afraid to speak the truth they believe.  Can we say as much for us? I am not saying run out and buy a white shirt,  or a giant Bible. But be Jesus with skin.

Show people the love, grace, compassion, joy, forgiveness only Jesus can bring. There are so many times people have asked me questions about the Bible or Jesus and I have never told them I have a relationship with God. Why is that? I am no great example by any means, I try but I am also human. I am loud, obnoxious, in your face, loud, fat, flawed, undeserving woman. But isn't God the one who made me exactly that way? Didn't HE know my personality and my strengths and weaknesses? Did he not create my mind? my mouth?

Can He use me? I am not perfect like this family in church, who look perfect, and their kids are so obedient and there dog is never dirty and their house is always clean. 

My kids are naughty, my house is never fully clean, I can't have a dog to add to the mess and I am not perfect. So how do I measure up? how do I become spiritual? That family the perfect one, yeah they have a son who does drugs, the grandfather is a raging alcoholic  they live in a house and drive cars they can't afford, they hurt so badly, but because they felt they could fool everyone by looking all together, you can't fool God. 

Romans 12:2
Don’t live any longer the way this world lives. Let your way of thinking be completely changed. Then you will be able to test what God wants for you. And you will agree that what he wants is right. His plan is good and pleasing and perfect. 

His plan is good, pleasing and perfect. Not us with what we try to be with our facade. But if we let that mess go and let God strip away all that doesn't matter, we will be exactly what God wants us to be.

I had a lamp growing up, I hated it, sat by my bed every night and glowed brown. It was glass the color of dirty water, always put off a gloomy glow. 

One day I was cleaning and put it to soak in the sink while I cleaned (this was the 80's a ton of Aquanet was involved in why it was so dirty) When I went back to scrub it later the brown was cracked and falling off. That part I hated was just a film or a coating. As I scrubbed the lamp transformed into this beautiful cut crystal clear beautiful thing. When I turned it on it was bright and cast little rainbows on the ceiling. totally like day and night. Transformed, made new, transparent. 

What are some of the things in your life that hold you back from being transparent? things you are afraid others might see? Things you think you are hiding? Are we really not just begging for someone to see and say let me help you with that? Or just handing it to God and saying I am done? 

Think today, make a list, pray for clarity, ask someone else, what is holding me back from transparency?

I will do the same today and we will discuss that soon.

Be blessed

Always

Suszi

Like Wonder Woman's plane?

Good morning friends,

Today is one of those hit the ground running days.

So it will be brief today.

My mind is on transparency.

Like Wonder woman's airplane?

Sort of but more in a spiritual sense.

At lunch this week a new friend asks why so many people in the

 church have it all together and she feels like, What is wrong with me?

DO you ever look around and think that on Sundays.

Have you fought with your husband and yelled at your kids the whole way to the front door of church and then plaster on a smile and act  like life is all ok?

A certain amount of that is ok but, if you are entering an emergency room with a broken leg, do we walk in and smile and say "I have a scratch, can I be seen at your earliest convenience?"

No way, you're writhing in pain begging for pain meds and tired of waiting.

Isn't the church a hospital? Why do we act like we have it all together?

Not that you have to go in screaming, But when they ask if you need prayer do you go up?

Do you let others in on your pain? When you give a prayer request is it "UNspoken"?

I know God knows and yes there are times for that also.

But have you ever thought if everyone knew what was going on, maybe they could help?

Maybe they are the answer to the prayer but because you are worried about your image, you didn't make your request known?

Another way to be transparent, or reason for being transparent, is there is no place to hide sin, or there is no room for deceit or hurt because you are a real person who is open.

It is like being made of glass. It is strong and holds everything you need but others can see through all the facade. 

Not everyone can be super transparent, unlike me some are quiet and reserved. But I think there can also be a certain amount of transparency there also?

So as you travel this part of my journey into transparency, lets pray God will reveal What HE wants us to understand.

Let's look into the Bible for places of example.

But today let's try and be a little more transparent in our life.

Don't be afraid to open up to others, I guarantee they are in pain some way too.

Be blessed today.

Always

Suszi 

Celebrating Libbet...

Good Morning friends,

Thank you for all your warm thoughts yesterday.

When you lose someone it is hard and painful.

Yesterday I heard so many stories and funny things about Libbet.

I saw and shed tears, and sadness began to overwhelm me.

THEN

God stepped in.

Isn't He amazing?

There are times when God speaks to you.

I am Not talking about those moses on the mountain talking although I know He can do that too.

I'm talking about a soft whisper in your ear, a word of comfort wrapped in the Fathers arms.

A message where you say "Huh I wonder if that was God?"

Not this time it was so Him. 

As I sat after hearing the news of Libbets passing, and tears were falling.

He whispered to me.

I saw a picture of Libbet standing before Jesus,

He looked at her and said "Well Done"

Her face lit up 

He stretched His arms out to her.

Her head leaned back and she laughed.

This amazing contagious laugh she has.

Pure joy.

She ran to Him.

______________

I stand in awe of the power of Jesus.

Because we hurt, and are in pain He comes to us,

lowly us, and comforts.

Yesterday I was going to call Libbet and go over. 

I had been sick so I didn't want to go like that so I waited.

That hurts, but it was for my benefit and this isn't the last we will see one another.

_____________________

Libbet touched many lives all over the world,

She and her husband Greg were missionaries and then Pastors at a local church.

She was a powerhouse for God.

She stood on His word and professed it with her entire being.

So many in the kingdom, are there because she said 

"Send me God, I'll go"

It was an honor to know her, and to call her friend.

Libbet Warner

Today I celebrate life.

And the example of this Godly woman

May God use me and you like He used her.

"Send me God, I'll Go"

Be blessed today

Always 

Suszi