Create in me a clean heart...

Good Morning friends,

Wow this weekend was so wonderful in so many ways, but also so awful.

I cannot even begin to tell you the pure anguish that satan put me through.

It started with tiny whispers and ended in 2 days of utter devistation. I had no friends, my church hated me, my husband was horrid, my kids were the worst, everyone just hated me. That is what I fought all weekend.

Well Saturday morning I got to go have lunch with my dear friend Deb, and two of our other friends just happened to be there, it was so great, totally God ordained and much needed. These friends are life friends, you dont see or talk to them everyday, but they are right there for you if you need them. Then I got to paint faces at a party for a little girl who has fought for life since she was born 6 years ago, down syndrom, breathing issues, respirator, speech, physical difficulties, yet she was so happy and full of life. 

So what is my problem? It was like a a choaker the more I struggled the tighter it got. Until it spilled out, sorry for those in my path. I thought my church people hated me and my kids, my closest friends were mad, my family didnt care, and on and on and on. I prayed and cried, but it just got worse. Then God spoke to me, at church every word that was spoke or preached was about that exactally, we werent going to go even but I knew if I didnt this would just get worse letting it stew a week,  . So did I hear it and turn my attitude around, no not really. I continued to fight it all day. then I got a call from my friend Lin and was invited over to paint and I felt love and welcome and the ladies there let me vent. I knew I was being poked by the devil. I know that my friends don't hate me, and that my church loves me, and I don't like to be jealous or offended and satan knows that is or was a weak spot right now.

So today I woke up feeling just fine, no struggle or anything. I feel like I went through a war. I am tired and worn out. But also free of all that.

So I am so sorry to those who love me. 

Today I pray, create in me a clean heart, oh God my Father, and renew a right Spirit in me.

I will find joy and peace today.

and pray for you all to find the same.

Be blessed.

Always

Suszi