Hello Friends
This is not my normal routine but yet here I am.
Midday in a coffee house writing. usually I am barely awake and on my first cup of coffee, so God is able to move in my mind without much fight. But I will just have to open up and let Him flow the best he is able through the muddle of my distracted mind today.
Today is a day of miracles for me, not because one happened yet or because I'm praying for one. I have prayed as well as many others and this is the day it has to happen. The day when the rubber meets the road and the huge wall in my way just needs to crumble before us, because I am tired of climbing and struggling and hitting my head trying to break it under my own strength. Today God can make the wall fall or He can make a way for the waiting to go longer. He is God.
The thing this week in my reading and praying and study and Church has been about me. Not LOOK AT ME I'M GREAT. But God knows me!!! He created me. He formed me. He knows my flaws & strengths. He knows I'm loud and unruly and irreverent. I have been told I have a ROBUST personality. I guess that's true but God created me to be ME, this broken, loved, flawed, robust person. He knew before time there would be Me. He also knew exactly how He would use those flaws and robustness for His glory.
There is no other me for Him to use and although I have no idea what that entails,
Here I am use me Lord!!!
Sometimes the whole scope of it is so vast to even fathom.
So many able bodied and Godly people and He wants to use me.
Humbled
Who am I lord?
I can't even get through this very day and this huge brick wall in my way.
How do I touch anyone for You?
Maybe if you move this wall God, then i can do your will? what if He doesn't?
My nails and knuckles are bloody and sore and my knees ache and forehead bruised and scabbed and bleeding trying to make His will (Wall) go in my time.
I'm to impatient to wait on him! Yet nothing to do but wait.
I DECLARE A MIRACLE!!!
Can I even do that or is that egotistical? or Faith?
I have seen amazing miracles, angels, been healed and seen lame walk and blind see.
And yet I doubt ?
I'm so insignificant in the vastness of the universe.
Yet here I sit in a room of hurting people acting happy.
People with no hope or reason to go on. and God set me right here.
I have already told several people about the greatness of Gods mercy.
How He supplies all my needs. How simple acts of caring show His love.
are those insignificant to God?
the faith of a mustard seed? the size of my faith feels small even if I have seen great things.
God can use one word to change or create anything.
So my tired faith and impatience can be used to glorify Him?
I hope so, because I think the little I give, He will multiply!!!
A little seed has only one job.
GROW
So my faith can grow as well as my ability to be used by Him.
He has now planted me in a new pot.
A new home.
A virtual garden for planting seeds and cultivating life.
An apartment complex full to the rim with people who need God.
No my art supplies do not fit, but my Bible does and that is far more important.
So today I lean against that wall and pray for those around me that need YOU LORD!!
I use the wall for support not for blocking!
I paint the wall and plant flowers so it is beautiful.
I glorify you regardless if the wall moves today or in a year.
Your provision will supply all my needs and in YOUR time I wont notice the wall is even gone because I am so lost in Your glory I didn't notice it vanished.
Today I garden and plant, in others and in myself a new faith and a new hope
to make this situation lovely no matter the outcome.
Plant
Water
Grow
Be Blessed
Always
Suszi
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