Welcome home to change

Hello My friends,

I am back...to life anew...to a closer walk with God...to change.

It has been nearly a year since I have written to you my dear friends and so much has changed.

I divorced and remarried,got a grand baby, changed friends and churches. Suffered loss and great triumph, seen deep sorrow and exploding joy. 

I guess CHANGE is what it boils down to. Change is not bad or good but can be either, but to me it is very hard. The changes in my life are my decision, but that doesn't make them less hard to handle.

When I was young I would go to my aunts house and marvel at how she never rearranged unlike my mom, and I always thought I would be spontaneous and I am not. As I age I am less liking change. 

But through God it is a new adventure. Allowing Him to take control and move me where He chooses make the change exciting and ALWAYS so much better then anything I would have envisioned. He makes ALL things new. He cares for His children more then we can imagine. Our prayers seem pitiful compared to His glory and grace. When I think about the change in my life it seems so small comparatively. God is so vast and I am but a speck. I don't deserve Him or His glory. Yet He made that speck and loves that speck. He died for it. His grace is sufficient for me. 

This vast desert I stumble through with hopelessness and look for a single drop of rain, I carry a heaviness that causes my feet to fumble. The burden nearly to much to bear. But the second I feel I cannot take one more step under my own power and fall to my knees, My eyes see before me an oasis with Jesus holding our his hand to help me up and take my load, then I drink and feast. While I was thirsty and dirty and tired, I forget I am not able under my own power to sustain myself and all I carry. Only when I fall to my knees do I see it is not my burden to carry. 

God is great and worthy of our praise. Maker of Heaven and earth. All powerful and yet gentle.

Most of all He cares for me!!!

He knows me, all those details and flaws. 

He knows what He created and the purpose for that creation.

We can hide nothing from Him and I laugh thinking WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

But regardless here I am loud, unruly hurt, damaged and alive. 

So Jesus use me despite me!!!

Be Blessed this day

Always 

Suszi