Change me God, even if it hurts....

Good Morning friends,

I often wonder what people think when they see me.

I know I'm loud and crazy and irreverent.

I know I open my mouth before my brain checks what I'm going to say.

I know I have a lot to work on.

And a longgggg way to go before "I make it"

The Bible says many things about how a woman of God should act.

Then again He made me this way for a reason?

My husband often tells me I need to turn on my filters in my mouth.

I'm sure a lot of what I say is unnecessary.

But like I said God knew that when He created me.

Often with me and God we deal with one issue at a time.

 The issue right now is the fact that somehow I end up talking about myself to much in every conversation. It isn't like I don't want to hear what others say, its more like I may want some semblance of normalcy and try to relate? Or it could be the fact that I was the center of attention my whole life with my family and now I'm not? It is hard to say and I could analyze why forever .When what I really need is to change. So anytime I'm talking now I'm trying to listen and tell myself to ask questions about them and not make a comment about me. I really try no to be narcissistic, but wow 44 years of me.. me... me is a hard habit to break. I want to be less self aware and more aware of what God wants me to speak into others lives. When I was a teenager I went to a conference and it changed me.  I was less bold, not shy but hardly as loud as I am now. The speaker was talking about asking "The hard questions" . I remember thinking and praying that God would use me to be that person.

Well it really wasn't a hard stretch for me to get there, but that day He breathed a boldness into my life, that is often a bit overwhelming. 

I wish sometimes I was mild and proper. But that is NOT who I am, and at this point in my life I accept that and pray God use me despite my failings. 

God is moving me into a greater purpose, to tell people about this God who accepts and loves us despite ourselves.

The thing about our failings and flaws, God knows about them. 

He after all is the one who formed us. He loves us.

What is God trying to work on in your life?

Are you willing to let Him, even if it is painful?

Pray that God will show you and roll up your sleeves and get to work.

Be blessed today 

Always

Suszi