Heaven is a wonderful place....

Good Morning friends,

Do you ever feel you don't have all the answers?

Or alone in a crowd? Or pain when your smiling?

That is how I feel. I don't know why so many people are dying lately, or the reason for my such deep sorrow. I can barely breath before someone else is gone. There are different kinds of grieving.

In the past I have felt sad when an uncle or aunt died. I cried when Mr. Rogers died. I felt deeper pain when someone young died. I remember in 4th grade, my best friend Brian died, of cancer. I was so sad and hurt and I didn't want to go to his funeral. 

My family talked about death in a positive way. They never said anything negative about it, unless to talk about people not going to heaven if they didn't know Jesus. 

In my youth, someone leaving like that was hard cause I would never see them again. As an adult now I am beginning to understand the longing my mom had for Heaven. I always knew I wanted to go there but I didn't understand why she longed to go there. Now I do, she missed her mom and dad, and after she died was the first time in my life I felt that longing. I want to go there and see Jesus and worship at His feet that is a given. But to go to find those I love that are waiting for me. That is a longing I now understand. 

The things of the earth we have to deal with and the pain and sorrow we feel here, can in no way diminish the pure joy and warmth in heaven.

Do you ever wonder, how do I know i'll end up there? That is where assurance of salvation comes in.

When you know, that you know, there is noting that will separate us from the love of Christ.

Yes we will still cause and feel pain. Yes we still sin. No we aren't perfect. We are flawed. We are promised grace and mercy. I am so glad God shares those gifts with us. I know I don't deserve Heaven, but because of grace and love, I will be there someday. 

That is where I will see my momma and Brian and many others who have gone before us.

It is so exciting to look forward to that day, when I see my saviors face, when he actually holds me in His arms and says I love you. My arms ache for that embrace. And seeing my mom all in white with no oxygen or equipment attached but young and free and whole and perfect is what I cannot wait to see.

I picture her Heavenly mansion being a giant log cabin with a tin roof and a huge porch, next to a small lake where she can skip rocks and have water fights with all the children that are there, she has 4 babies there already. She had 4 miscarriages and the one right before me was nearly full term and was a baby girl, and I know her arms needed to hold my sister, and her other babies.

Even though I know these things the tears still flow so easily. I am not a crier. It takes a lot for me to cry, that is unless I am watching cartoon movies I always cry. (Charlie Brown is the worst). 

I may be like this a long time, but I know God saves every tear in a bottle and loves me and soothes my heart, even though it still feels pain. I know time makes it better but the loss never changes, that longing and excitement are still there, waiting for the day we see each other in Heaven.

When I was little we learned a song.

Heaven is a wonderful place,

Filled with glory and grace.

I wanna see my Saviors face ,

cause Heaven is a wonderful place.

I wanna go there.

That is how I feel today..

I WANNA GO THERE.

Blessings to you all

Always

Suszi