The joy of the Lord is my strength.

Good morning friends,

I know it has seemed like so long, I am so sorry.

The past few weeks have left me in a place of despair, and sadness. 

Last week I was at History Fest, one of the best weeks of my year.

I wasn't in charge this year and I got to paint faces thousands of them.

That helped some but reality has sunk in again. I don't feel like writing, or any of those things, but as I force myself back to reality and life it is getting easier. I have never felt such overwhelming sadness before.

I have had and felt loss in my life, and dealt with death before. This time is harder.

It was so nice at the funeral to be around so many people and family.

But as often it goes, people have to go back to life and reality.

So for me sadness has set in, and weariness. I have let my body take all it can take.

Now I have to rest, and that requires life to stop which it cannot. 

I am so thankful for those friends who come, and just sit. That no words need be said, just here.

I sleep a ton, and life is going on. I really have no obligations, so that helps, except it gives me nothing to look forward too. So I guess it is time to " Get over it" as my mom would say often.

I have joy in all the amazing things that happened during the time at the hospital, and I will share them soon.

Having you friends out there, also brings peace to my soul.

I don't understand why my family grieves the way they do, by pulling 

away, but life must go on. 

So today, I take a step, one step toward happiness.

Not letting despair overtake me.

The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

Thank you for being patient in this hard time of my life.

always

Suszi