Joy in the morning...

Good Morning Friends,

So today as I discuss grieving I am laughing at my friend and her ducks.

I love my friends and they make me laugh and that helps so much to heal.

It is still so hard, and yesterday I wondered if I would ever forget how her voice sounded, or her smell, the warmth of her embrace. I can see how many people hang on to every scrap of things that remind yo of that person. I am a sentimental person, but I have to set limits and not obsess. I saved one of her sweaters and just smell it often, but I am not going to preserve it and make a shrine to it. I will have a few things that are special to me, she was an artist and I have several paintings, she quilted and I have many of those, and photos and videos of her. I don't need tons of stuff to remember her. I have my memories and the lessons she taught me, those things that are the legacy of her. She taught me so many things in life but I think her greatest gift to me was her sense of humor, she loved to laugh and play practical jokes, and do wild and crazy things. One of my favorite stories is one time we were at Niagara Falls in the winter, my dad loved the boat rides under the falls, and my mom and I hate water, so we were sitting watching the water, I got cold and she was smoking, so I went in the gift shop, no one was there I had the whole place to my self, until a tour group of Asian people came in, they all stayed together as a group and looked at stuff, so a few minutes later when my mom came in I was across the room from them and instead of her coming to me, she went to the group and got right in the middle of them and started saying "ching bing wannabing dig ding" or some thing to that effect and the entire group turned and looked at me, I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head, and walked away. She was always doing that stuff. so may things to remember and laugh about.

She also left a legacy spiritually, up until the moment she died she was telling people about Jesus, and being a spiritual mom to so many people. Those are the things that I want of her, her legacy and ideals. 

I want to be that woman, funny, kind, loving unconditionally, telling others about God without fear.

My parents marriage is also a legacy, 58 years, wow I remember when people in my class started being children of divorced families and it seemed rare, now I am the minority having my parents together still. Life was not always wonderful, there were hard time and times when they threatened to leave each other, but they never did. Love that lasted a life time. Vows that were lived, practiced and modeled.

The pain of my loss is hard and daily does wane, and some moments are hard and tears fall freely, pain is there but each day I see more light, and feel joy coming into the darkness. 

Sorrow may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.

Amen.

Have a blessed day.

and thank you all for being so loyal and reading .

Always

Suszi