Love: Not a feeling, but a choice .

Good Morning friends,

I have had Marriage on my mind a lot lately. So may reasons to think about it...We have been together 25 years this year, friends marriages hurting, new weddings being planned, the entire gambit of marriage situations.
There have been thousands of books written on the topic but only one is needed

Ephesians 5:25-28
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

In today's society it is unbelievable to be married a long time. I remember I was in high school before I met anyone with divorced parents. Now I am a rarity having been married 25 years. I had several good examples of marriage my parents who were married 58 years, and Dave's grandparents who have been married 67 years. I look at both of those marriages and see one thing very clear, they served one another. They give their all to one another. We as a generation are like spoiled children, we want it our way, or no way. They are even thinking of doing a temporary marriage certificate some place I heard. What is the point.
A friend asked me how many years I had been married, I told her 25 but 8 have been good but not in succession. Which is so true. Society wants it fast, perfect and effortless. Well those are things marriage will never be. It is hard, frustrating and painful. But worth every minute. I would love to say we have been together 25 wonderful years, but nope. So how do you change your spouse? you don't. You need to remember the one you fell in love with. That young person with a life time of adventure ahead. Our adventure was nothing like I envisioned. I was pregnant when we got married so it was never really just the 2 of us. and shortly after I gave birth I hurt my knees and ended up having 7 surgeries and spent nearly 3 years in a wheel chair or bed ridden. We learned a lot about the better or worse then. Dave was amazing he did things taking care of me and a child that most men would have walked away from. We had a few really rough times, and once I left him, I said I would only come back if he did this whole list of things. I thought well I guess were done cause he won't do half of that...NOPE he did them all and then some. We have lasted through many struggles and changes. We were super young when we married I was 18 and Dave was 21. Just babies, stupid and immature. Baggage a LOT of baggage came with us to. So much it took years to unpack and go through. Recently I heard a story of a woman who couldn't;t look at her husband at their wedding during the vows, ouch I did the same thing and never understand why, well it is because I had given a huge part of myself away to other guys, and when I found "Mr. Right" it was to late. Despite the very hard and rocky parts of our marriage there were also great times. Precious times. Times I wouldn't trade of anything. Both the good and the bad make us who we are. I was not the person I am today at 18 and neither was Dave.  we are better people.. Oh I am not saying we don't have issues cause we do. I'm saying were in it for the long haul. There comes a point in marriage that the "love" we felt seems gone. That is a moment of truth for many couples. That is the point many breakup. That is the point you have to decide I choose to love that person, I chose Him//her forever. There are days (weeks) where we can't stand the other person, but They are ours, and for better or worse we vowed to make it. I am not the easiest person to be with, I am selfish, demanding, particular and crazy. But I love my husband and oddly enough he still loves me after all this time.
That statement right there is what keeps me going. He loves me when I am unlovable, and stubborn. He is my best friend and I am so lucky I have him, even though he makes me crazy most days. For all the trials just the past year would have broken many marriages and has stretched ours to the limit, but bent is NOT broken and we are dedicated to straightening out, not because we "Love" each other but because God loves us. God ordained our marriage, God alone holds us together. We never pray together enough or barely see each other enough, we can't sleep in the same bed and life at our house is no where in the same universe calm and easy. Dave is here and most days I am too. Being together even when we don't like each other much. Sharing the chaos and craziness and figuring out our lives with sickness and pain, he is faithful because we know God is faithful. Dave and I cannot fix anything. GOD CAN. He will and we will once again adapt and go on. I could never make it alone but I don't have to. Dave and I take a day at a time, sometimes only a moment. God being the main reason and sometimes the only reason were together. We are stronger through Him. When God put a crazy Irish Hillbilly together with a reserved Norwegian and said" it is good" I know He had a smirk on His face.

Be blessed and remember not matter what phase of marriage you are in, put GOD first.

Always
Suszi