got Control?

Morning already?

Hello friends,

I have never been so tired, it is either I finally let it catch up with me, or I am old but most likely a combination of both.

There was a time I could stay up all night sleep a few hours and be great, now I feel like rip van winkle and wanna sleep a hundred years.

Yesterday I slept most of the day on and off, and today I only wish I could. I was awoken very early by Dave going to work, then by Chrissy standing over me. (which is unnerving) 

I am a very light sleeper, normally hear every sound and creak, but when I am this tired I hear nothing. Yesterday Ian stood over me and yelled something. BAD IDEA. He just needed my awake attention, probably asking for food, will he ever get full? When I get woke up like that I come out swinging. I have no idea why. (no i didn't hit him but it scared us both) Once after surgery, I woke up and 5 nurses were holding me down and one nurse was bleeding, I had punched her and didn't realize it. If you don't know me, I am strong and carry a punch. I would never use this of my own will, but asleep sedated I guess I will. So now when I have surgery I have to be strapped down. Which is better cause I would never hurt a fly, much less a person. 

It unnerves me to think I have a place where I don't have control of myself. Maybe that is why I sleep so light? I have a tender heart and would rather hug someone then hit them. 

There is a letter on the internet right now from someone who is full of hate towards special needs kids. When I read it I thought it would make me so angry, but by the end I only felt pity. 

It is hard to deal with life when you aren't in control of yourself, but it is even more frightening to blatantly to be so awful and full of hate on your own free will. My prayer is that that person can learn to love these amazing children and people.  God says" whatever you do to the least of these you do to me" I sure don't want to be there when He decides to discipline this person. Thank goodness.it isn't up to me  to decide their fate.

Today I start digging into my chaos and getting my house in order.

So pray for me and my family 

Also think today about someone in your life who you don't understand or that makes you crazy and love on them. Pray for them. 

Always

Suszi