Change is not failure...

Good morning friends,

It is only 8:30 am and I am ready for a do over.

I couldn't sleep last night and my son was very crabby today.

Maybe another cup of coffee and a nap will help?

I was thinking last night about 9/11 and how chaos ran rampant, in the weeks to follow.

I thought about all the letters. 

There were message boards everywhere, with letters to family members to connect with home. Friends looking for friends. The desperation and stress and not knowing that everyone felt.

How is it in such a connected world, where you can call anyone anytime can't we find people?

At what point did people give up waiting to hear?

Do you ever feel that desperation? Like you try so hard to get ahead and all you do is feel like you went back two steps? 

My grandmother had a plaque I now have and it says "The hurrier I go the behinder I get"

And it certain rings true so much of the time.

Or you are fighting a battle, maybe just for your sanity, or depression, or the will to leave or make a change you know must be made. 

It isn't a failure to change.

Did you hear that?

CHANGE IS NOT FAILURE.

It just means at the end of the day if it didn't happen, or nothing actually changed,

that tomorrow is a new day.

Now I have totally lost my train of thought, I just got a call that a dear friend and pastor just died at a very young age, We have been friends for about 20 years and this is a hard blow.

So today I will spend in her honor.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi

  

He is here....

Happy day friends,

Today is a really silly sort of day.

I must be feeling better.

Yesterday was so funny, and yes it was at someone elses expense.

One of my friends had to be sedated for a medical test.

She said she would be silly, so I didn't feel to bad laughing at her.

It was so nice that someone trusted me in such a vulnerable state.

We were good til she started seeing my rug turn into bugs.

It is so nice to laugh.

Have you ever been that vulnerable though? I am not silly when I am sedated,

I come out swinging. It is disheartening though to feel like anything could happen

 and you would never know. 

Isn't that like life though? So unpredictable. 

"Life is like a box of chocolate" 

Today I think about what I was doing 12 years ago today.

Remembering is so important.

We never saw it coming.

It was very sad, but I also saw such hope come alive in the country.

I was never so proud to be an American.

To know that when the going gets tough, we stick together.

I don't think this will be the last time we will suffer like this as a country.

It is sad to think about so many bad people in the world who are so full of hate.

So we need to pray. For Hope, For salvation, For freedom.

Christ's return is everyday closer. 

Are you ready? Have you known Him since childhood and are you still following Him?

Did you find Him in youth, are you still listening to His call?

Have you found Him later in life, can you still hear Him whispering your name?

If you are following Him, are you turning others eyes toward Him?

Reminding those who may have forgotten?

I have had this song in my heart constantly lately.

He is here hallelujah, He is here Amen

He is here Hallelujah,

I will bless His name again.

He is here, listen closely 

Hear Him calling out your name

He is here, you can touch Him

You will never be the same.

So simple, yet so powerful.

No matter the trial, or joy

He is here.

Today pray God will show you who He wants you to show the way.

To remind of His love.

Are you willing to be that person He uses?

Do you want to be the person He asks to tell someone and you don't do what He asks?

Be blessed today.

and bless someone else too

Always

Suszi  

No weapon formed against us....

Good morning Friends,

Today is a new day, yesterday I was so sick I didn't even open my computer, but I sure missed writing.

I have made a few decisions the past weekend.

I also found out I was the talk of the town, but not nicely.

Lies have a way of biting you back. 

We have talked about living in truth and transparency

It seems the more God convicts me to do this and walk in this truth, that I get hit, .from every side.

The one thing about truth is that if people truly know you and see you living in truth, nothing can be said against you that isn't truth. There is no ground for lies to stand on.

No words, no deeds, no harm can fall on me.

So rumors and lies, won't hurt me. 

It is so funny to me how as adult people act like we are 15.

 Rumors and lies, just to get ahead or because of jealousy. It frankly is very sad. 

You see if people know or have spent time getting to know the real person you are, they would understand and see the lies, and the truth will come out.

Satan is trying a last ditch effort to get me riled up. But it is not working. 

I live in truth. I walk in LIGHT.

Lies bring bondage, truth sets us free.

There is therefore now NO condemnation to those who are in Jesus.

No lies, or pain or deceit or anything can come and hurt us because our sins were bought, by the blood of Jesus 2000 years ago. If we choose to walk in the light, there can be no weapon formed against us.

When you grasp that. REALLY grasp it. Nothing will phase you.

Okay it hurts but only a little compared to what God will do to the people who live those lies and a life away from Him. 

Today I rejoice.

I am FREE.

I am loved, and joyful.

I live in truth and light.

I will bless others today.

And encourage you to do the same.

Always

Suszi

Can I earn it? NO

Good morning friends,

Proverbs 16:7

When God approves of your life, even your enemies will end up shaking your hand.

Not exactly sure why this is the subject today, but none the less here it is.

Do you have people you can not stand? or are there people who can't stand you?

Do you have lots of people in your life who just give you the cold shoulder?

The old adage "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" or

have you ever had someone you just didn't really like but they ended up being the best part of you?

I think the line between friend and enemy is very thin.

How can you change? How do we make those people our friends? 

One word

GRACE

Because shouldn't we be enemies of Christ? It is our sinful nature to deny Him. He accepts us for who we are, despite our nature. Not watered down grace, but true boneified Amazing Grace that saved a wretch like me. How do we get that grace? We don't, we cannot achieve this grace or earn it. It is a gift given freely and without any question of a return favor. Grace means unmerited favor. I think in our society we see grace as a skewed thing. I am reading the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennen Manning. WOW I highlighted it so I could remember the good stuff and It is almost completely yellow every page, it is totally amazing.

He says "As a whole, the church in America, accepts grace in theory but denies it in practice. We say we believe that the fundamental structure of reality is grace, not works, but our lives refute our faith."

Somehow we feel we have to earn our way to heaven, by doing good deeds. But we should be doing good deeds, to show people the way to heaven.

God knows me, I swear, I complain, I judge, I yell and get angry, I am not a perfect person by any streatch of the imagination. But I love God, and He loves me despite those things about me. He knows me, He created me, He knows you and your heart. We are not worthy of anything, yet He gives it all to us. Like people say "If you want money earn it" . God says here are all the riches in the universe, they are yours, I love you and all I have is yours, not because we worked hard, or prayed right , or were seen as super spiritual. We are real, transparent, flawed. And HE still loves us. Unconditionally. without merit. 

I think when we learn how to embrace this Grace, our lives will change. When we do things not for the pat on the back, but because we love who were doing them for, even if we don't really llike that person. (enemy)

God will bless that. I hear so many times in church :Oh well, I can't go there there is swearing, or they are not christians, or they wear a head scarf or love someone of the same sex. It is sad where is grace? I say a picture recently of someone at a pride parade with a sign that said I am a Christian and I am sorry. and He was embracing a parade walker. I cried. THAT IS GRACE. 

I am not saying got to Pride fest. But pray that God shows you someone you can be His arms for. Jesus with skin on for. Even in the church. Especially in the church. My mom tells of a man in her fathers church (He was a pastor) who they "Churched" or kicked out because he was to "Sinful". That makes no sense to me. Isn't that what we all are? Do we deserve Heaven? NO!!! Can we go there anyway? Absolutely.
How can we show the love of God? By being transparent, showing others that despite who we are God loves us. Unconditionally. We killed His son and He still loves us. Wrap your head around that one.

Today pray for that Grace.
I am.

Always
Suszi

P.S. Even I got an ouch from this today. Ok Ok God I am listening.

God's gracious gift

Good Morning friends,

Today is a bittersweet day.

My baby is starting first grade. He is so great.

Funny and silly, kind and loving.

This boy and I have an even more special bond.

He is a child of my heart.

We adopted Ian at birth, he is an amazing miracle, and proof that God answers prayers in HIS time not ours.

We had prayed and begged and looked and hoped for another child after Helena, but to no avail. Several adoptions fell through and many unneeded pregnancy tests. I would only ever have one child, we figured. So we had resigned ourselves to the fact that one was enough, and she was nearly raised and out of the house, so we would have an empty nest before age 40 and I guess that was the plan, I thought.

We were just starting a new chapter in our lives. New house and job for me, a tiny town house but the three of us fit perfectly. Then the call came March 7th. Do you want this baby? I am due in 2 1/2 weeks.

Okay, call me silly but who would say "UMMM no don't want that right now" NO ONE.

So we tentatively started the process, it was very emotional for us. Would she change her mind? Would this baby be taken away from us? God please let this be happening.. we didn't even tell many people it was a whirlwind or murphey's law or jinxing it we weren't sure how to act. Then one week later almost to the minute she went into labor. Ill tell more of that craziness some other time. And we were given this beautiful baby boy. Ian Robert Grudem. The son we so desperately wanted and had prayed for. I had read a horrible book about adoption that week, and it said in no way can the adopted child be loved as much as a biological child. Bologna, it is total and complete love. Unconditional and brilliant. I threw the book away.

This little boy has brought such joy to our lives. Everyone who sees him falls head over heels for him. He is so charismatic, and spoiled and silly. He is a joy.

Life without him is unbearable to even think about.

When you pray for nearly 18 years, for a child you get a glimpse of what Sara and Abraham went through.

The waiting, the questions, the unanswered prayers. 

God being God, knew the answers, and heard the prayers and caused my patience to grow.

His name means "Gods, gracious gift" and that he is. A gift from God. through His grace and love, in His timing NOT ours. Our son finally. The one for who my heart prayed.

The joy of my heart. 

My son.

Be blessed today, I sure am.

Always 

Suszi

Prayer for serenity...

Good morning friends,

Today I want to discuss the Serenity prayer,

At least the first line. The word serenity, what does that mean?

Serenity - the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil

composure, calm, peacefulness, peace.

How do we find serenity?  How do we capture this and make it a part of our life and spirit.

My mom used to say this prayer all the time and we would tease her all the time and one day she was here and I was saying it under my breath.  It was so funny, and she said "It helps doesn't it?" and yes it does. I say it A LOT lately. I crave that peace and calm. When Helena  (our oldest daughter) was little and an only child, our life was so quiet, no TV, just a ton of reading, and quiet. NOT ANY MORE. Chaos seems to abound.

"God grant me the serenity" 

I need peace, composure, calm.

How in a crazy home? Loudness seems to abound.

Can you have peace in the middle of craziness?

If you read further it says "To accept the things I cannot change"

I can contain the craziness, but I can't change it completely.

Galatians 5:22-23

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.   (The message)

It is a gift, we just have to choose if we want to accept it or not.

We just have to reach up knowing it will fall off into your hands.

God give me peace, Help me let go of what I can do noting about.

Change MY heart O' God.

I can't pray that for others, only myself. I have to change me if I want to make a change in this world.

My perspective, my anger, my pitfalls, MY ATTITUDE.

God will bless THAT.

He will pour out His spirit on to a heart that doesn't hinder Him.

Peace and change, for the glory of God.

What more can we want?

Be a blessing to someone today.

Always

Suszi

Stages of life and faith...

Good morning friends,

It feels like so long since I've written.

Happy Labor day belated.

We had a nice long, family fun filled weekend, and I hope you did too.

Today I am sad cause summer is over and school starts soon.

But not yet, so I am going to hang on the next 2 days of the last moments of summer.

Anyway this weekend was filled with many parties.

My mom turned 72 Friday, and I spent the day painting a picture for  her, then we went and had supper at their house and it was so nice, just like nothing had happened. Just a great visit. Thank you God you can heal wounds and restore lives. Not that it is all perfect by any stretch but, better just the same.

Sunday was super busy. Had an amazing church service. Then we went to the cities to celebrate our Nana's 86th birthday. That is the point I want to talk about. I have told you about our Nana before, but this day was special. It showed me the value of life at any age. We had one cousin there who was due to have her baby that day, to toddlers, teenagers, young adults grand parents and great grandparents. It was amazing to see the life and the stages of life so clearly. And how we all need family. It was a special day, and I love them so dearly. and although there was sadness at the thought of not many more birthdays with one person, there was such hope and anticipation of a life just starting.

Sunday night we also got to spend wonderful time with friends, who are just babies in the Christian faith, but we had a great time of fellowship and discussion, about the things of God. I have been saved for about 33 years. It is so amazing how faith and learning about the things of God are ever changing just like life. We think we got this life figured out and pow it changes. It is the same with the Christian walk. God is ever changing and our walk with Him, whether it is day one or year 60 is a new experience. A new joy every morning. Not that it is all great and happy, trials and things come, but if we remember and accept the joy of the Lord, HE will make things bearable. More than bearable, wondrous even. His joy is complete.

His blessings and His love are more then sufficient at whatever stage in life you are at.

Where ever you are with your walk, ask God what your next step is..

Be blessed today.

Always

Suszi