Honoring Change

Good morning friends,

Today is a new day thank God. Yesterday was awful. My Chrissy did everything you can imagine, if it could it did go wrong, ie. a bucket of water on the floor, wrote on the walls, talked back... Needless to say it was a long day and it was also the perfect example of why I don't keep alcohol in the house. It is days like that I have a hard time figuring out why God blessed us with her. I know of course, because she needed love and consistency, but I still wonder. I always let my temper get the best of me. Yesterday was better, but still pushed me to my limits. It is hard raising children in society today, but harder yet to raise damaged ones. 

I am often told how wonderful we are to have taken them, but I don't feel wonderful sometimes. I think as parents we all have hard times. I have 3 children with 3 very strong personalities. I see moms with 5 or 6 kids who are content to walk along with them, mine not so much. One would fly or paint or create her way at her own pace, one who would complain but show enormous strength in crisis, and a little boy who never walked, he ran, but has enormous compassion and love. All three strong, independent and I wouldn't change for the world. The only thing I ever wanted to be, was a mother. Oh I had plans...Fashion designer, missionary and world traveler. Well here  I am a mother, never left this Continent, and although I do design work, it isn't on a runway in Paris. Life has a funny way of working. And I don't look at those things as failure, but as a different direction. Change is not failure. I know I get so upset or stressed, but God knows my heart. He knows my life is all about the kids. It is really all I ever needed to do with my life. Maybe someday I will see the leaning tower of Piza, or the Mona Lisa or the castles of Ireland. But if I don't that is OK too, because I have had to opportunity to raise 3 amazing children. An honor. My name will never be in lights during fashion week, but it is on the love notes I get from an amazing little boy.  I may never see the art at the Louver in Paris, but the pictures I get from a little girl as her coloring slowly deteriorates are priceless to me.  The pride I feel over my eldest starting a life and making her own family, my greatest achievement. You see life may never turn out as planned but, sometimes God's plan is so much more important than ours,

So today as my perspective is brought more into focus on what God wants and less on what I want, I thank Him for these amazing gifts all three of them, and pray I do as well as I can to honor Him in their raising.

So I hope today you can find ways to honor Him in what are changes in our agendas.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi

Bringing one

Good morning Friends,

I have had several people tell me lately they love my writing because it is so real.

Well let me tell you about the writing I do.

It is straight from my heart, God inspired. You see I write during my coffee time in the morning, and if you know me there is no brain activity before coffee. It is also written in the midst of chaos. I sit in my favorite spot "MY CHAIR" (said with heavenly music playing and sparkles all over). My hair sticking up and my middle child talking incessantly or cleaning around me, or the people who work in our house doing their job with her. Not quiet and peaceful at all. That is how I know it is by God, because in my crazy wonky world only He can talk through the noise and have it be readable for you. I write my words to touch one person. Let me explain. If my words touch just one, and it shows them the awesomeness that is God, I have done what I was called to do. I do not write for the masses. It may not be someone in my lifetime even, maybe a great descendant of mine who is looking for answers. I heard a story once about an evangelist who was having a tent meeting. One night no one came. The tent had him and the pianist and one older person and 3 little boys. (I think, those details are sketchy but unimportant) The fact was that this huge tent only had a few and instead of saying "you know lets cancel since no one came", He preached as though the tent was packed, He gave the sermon he had for many to a few. He listened to Gods heart and showed it to those there. He even did an alter call. Well that night a little boy came forward and got saved. His name was Billy Graham. So can you imagine what the world would be today if that traveling preacher had said "Not enough people here to preach too" and left? Millions of lives have been saved and brought to God because that one unnamed man listened to God and said even if I touch one life it is worth it all. My mom lived by that same thought too, although she touched many, she said if just one comes to God, her life was worth living. You see it isn't about the car or house, the degrees or balance in your accounts. It is all about touching one. Being Jesus with skin on to one. One life changed, one soul saved, Heaven to one. If we all lived our lives to save one it would be no time and the world would all be saved. That one could be who God will use to bring tens of thousands to Him. One word or gesture of love to someone may mean the difference in Heaven of Hell to someone. So lets open our hearts and lives to being about the business of "Bringing One". 

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi

Miracles and wonder

Good morning friends,

Ok on the quest to get my joy back I failed miserably yesterday with my kids. I tried. But when you go into a store and your daughter sees a name tag and feels the need to introduce herself to them and try to become their best friend and starts giggling uncontrollably and talking loudly, you can't get out of the store fast enough. Or 5 minutes later were getting her brother and she has to go on and on about a snake until her brother gets mad and hits her, after I tell her 10 times to be quiet, oh and this happened in front of the therapist. ok that is 10 minutes of a very long day yesterday. Today I start again.

Anyway I dygress.

And once again my thoughts are totally gone because I was just handed a plate of wet eggs. Don't even try to visualize it is really gross. 

I have been thinking and that is scarey I know. Have you ever met someone who has no imagination? Someone who has lost all sense of wonder? 

They live in cold hard reality and there just isn't room for fantasy.

I have and it is very sad. I think we all need to have a little "magic" in our lives. Like believing fairies exsist or looking for animals in the clouds. I think if we lose that, life becomes very dull.

I believe God gave us imaginations as a gift. that sense of wonder. An ability to look harder at little things.

To see His glory in the tiny details. To believe He is bigger than everything. But that He is equally amazing in the small. He cares for us no matter our circumstances or stature. He is so present in the tiny, He hears those weak crys through sobs, when you can only wisper His name, He hears. 

That is why we can worship Him in many ways. Yes prayer and worship are important, but there are so many ways to honor Him. He has given me many gifts and I try to honor Him always, but I also have many faults. In those faults he can quietly remind me to be calm and breath. He sees what makes me upset or hurt and calms me. He cares that I hurt or become frusterated and frazzled. As much as He loves us in happy times, He loves us that much more in bad. No latter how small we feel, He makes us great.

We maybe cannot control curcumstances in our lives but, we can control how we see things.

How we react to things.

Pray today WITH me for peace and a clear mind to not react to things, but to give them to God.

In Him we will see miracles and wonder.

Be blessed today
Always
Suszi

You Raise Me Up 

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be..

Good morning friends,

This is my favorite song. It is amazing how it lifts my spirits.

Gives me strength and wipes away all hopelessness in my life.

It is wonderful how simple words can change a mood or make you reflect on a situation or remind us of a crazy adventure in the past (hair bands from the 80's).

The line about being strong when I am on your shoulders, strikes me hard, because not only is He carrying us, but were held tall and secure so we can see better. Like the father that holds his child at a parade on his shoulders so they can see. Not only is He holding, but holding us for all the world to see.He raises us up to more than we can be. Such power and strength. He holds us. places us high, gives us strength and fills our loves with wonder. 

It is really hard to feel down and sad through these words.

Almost like putting on armor to protect ourselves knowing He is holding us and we can face anything the world throws at us, He has us safely and securely.

On this new journey to find where my sparkle went, I am learning I need lots of strength. In the place of joy is now anger, discontent and grouchiness. These are hard habits to break. it is so easy to get mad and yell, but to react humbly and contrite, with love and a soft voice is so hard these days. I know I should and I know how, but the rut I am in is not an easy one to dig my way out of.

I need to surround myself with the things that make me happy.

to stop allowing the negative to over shadow the kindness. I tell my kids to be kind and yet I show very little myself to them. I do not like this person I have been lately and I strive to change. Knowing God is holding me high, with grace and love is what spurs me to be strong and find joy and peace. To raise these children in Him with that same joy. To minister to others about these changes and be an example of His mercy and love.

One step at a time, one moment at a time, choosing my words to build and not destroy.

Is there something God wants you to overcome? Do you need His strength? All you need do is ask.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi

Passion - it only takes a spark to get a fire going

Good morning friends,

The past few days I have been thinking of passion. 

Wiki defines it as

Passion (from the Latin verb patere meaning to suffer) is a term applied to a very strong feeling about a person or thing. Passion is an intense emotion, compelling enthusiasm or desire for anything. 

This morning my friend Randy Christensen posted this quote he was pondering and it really suddenly made sense. 

 "In our moments of enjoyment we feel as if we could do anything. And in our times of temptation and discouragement, we think we can do nothing. And both ideas are wrong." - From Fenelon

It suddenly became clear, my thoughts that is. Passion is what we feel in good and bad times, ups and down. A knowing in our knower (Ron Meyer) that God is true no matter the circumstances. He knows the good, the bad  and the ugly. I feel like I lost that passion or my sparkle a long time ago. Well I didn't lose it, it was stolen from me and now I am on a quest to find it again. I took it for granted cause times were always up and happy, but these times of deep darkness the past few years have made it hard to find that spark again. 

The other day we were walking down the street and I burst into song, (not uncommon) but singing the old song, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going and soon all those around, will warm up in it's glowing"

I don't have to get all the fiery passion back into my life at once, but every fire starts with a spark. one tiny little insignificant ember and it can cause acres to burn. That is how I want to be, That raging fire, someone that sparkles and shines no matter the ups or the downs. I understand this quote cause as women when we have a great hair day and our clothes fit perfect and we know we look amazing, we do have more confidence, but days where our ponytail is messy and there are peanut butter on our shirts and we are two days over on needing a shower, we barely feel like we can function much less change the world. Something I have learned though is God can use us no matter the state were in. Through His grace and mercy we are new every morning. We need to learn to ride the waves in life, don't let them pound us until we are to weak to swim, but relax and let them take us. Rise and fall and rest assured God has got you. He is our life preserver and rescuer. Being ready when He says "GO" and not worrying about what or who our circumstances are. Taking the Passion for Him and walking it out. 

I am so fortunate I finally figured out the job of my dreams. I love entertaining people and it allows me to literally touch so many lives. I have to get in peoples bubble and they are nervous at first but once in my care I can speak life to them. maybe not a sermon but a loving touch, a smile or joke, a tender stroke is all they may need. This weekend I had a little girl who had just been adopted, and she was wiggly for everyone, but once she was in my chair and I softly touched her and she relaxed she was like a rag doll, completely relaxed to the point I had to hold her head up, she nearly fell asleep. Isn't that how we should be with God? pliable, so relaxed in Him that the craziness around just melts away and He reigns supreme. 

Passion is that spark, what makes us who He wants us to be, no matter the circumstances. The ability to be used and guided by His hand in such a way, only He is in control. Riding the waves knowing He will protect and save us no matter what. Being used no matter how we feel or look. He is able and WILL because He promised us these things.

It only takes a spark, now if I can rub these sticks together fast enough 

I CAN and WILL get a fire going. (Never mind God has matches)

Be blessed today

Suszi

Fresh insight

Good morning friends,

WOW what a whirlwind weekend. I painted so much I could barely raise my arm.

I met some amazing people and really pushed myself creatively. I didn't think I would be busy, but turned out I was. I worked Thursday at an assisted living and it was so fun, painting people who are in their 90's and showed it is never to late or your never to old to have fun. Friday I did a Darth maul which I had no idea how it would work, but it turned out amazing, I have a hard time stepping out into the unknown sometimes but I proved to myself, it was worth it. I think the most amazing thing I saw was the look in my husbands eyes. When he go to home and I was gluing horns to a strange man, he was a bit skeptical, but by the time I finished he was in awe. He rarely shows tons of emotion, usually I get "oh that is nice" but I actually got an "awesome" "unbelievable" and more than once. He also got to see me in action last week with a line of tons of kids. I think he has a new appreciation for my work which means a lot to me.

I think over time we grow so accustomed to things in each other, or take each other for granted. I love that after 25 years we can still surprise one another. We are able to find something we thought was unattainable. a newness to life. A fresh look at each other. 

I think in time we all grow stale and kinda blah with each other. predictable. mundane.

It is so important to show each other more or a fresh perspective of ourselves. 

OK sorry my train of thought totally derailed...a phone call and my son watching the LEGO movie constantly singing "everything is awesome" and my mind is kaput. hehehe

I guess the theme is "Don't forget to try new things and surprise each other each day"

Be blessed today

Always 

Suszi

Stay this Way

                                                                   

                                                                     "Stay This Way"

Are you right in a place where you don't want to be?
Got your heart in the hands of an enemy?
I promise you,
I've been there, I've been there, too.

Have you tried but you failed to begin again?
And you feel like a slave to the cycle you are in?
I've been there, I've been there too

Listen to the words I say
You don't have to stay this way

Just because you're broken
Doesn't mean you're hopeless
Go ahead and turn the page
Don't be afraid of better days
Put the past behind you
Grace has redefined you
You don't have to stay this way

You can stand with your head held high my friend
'Cause the God of creation has made you innocent
I promise, I promise, that you are new

Good Morning friends,

I heard this song today By Jason Castro.

I have been thinking a lot about wether or not my disease defines who I am.

It says how I feel but, is it who I AM?

And what if I let it define me and I get better?

I believe in healing and miracles, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God can heal me,

It isn't a matter of faith.

It is a matter of when. God maybe doesn't cause illness. I am not enough of a theologian to understand all that, but I do know He loves us too much to hurt us. So even though I don't believe He hurts us, I believe He allows those things to happen to teach us or cause a response. In my case God had been saying  "Sit down and listen". I don't listen to well. He literally had to make me so sick I couldn't do anything.

So here I sit. Listening to God. I have a way of giving God ultimatums. Like if you want me off caffine you are going to have to come down from Heaven and rip it out of my hands. WELL, you should NEVER do that to God. Im now allergic to chocolate, and cannot even eat a chocolate chip. Or if you want me to sit down and rest your going to have to... . You would think by now I would not do that anymore, well...

reguardless, what I believe I am trying to say is that No situation is perfect, or permanent. God knows what He is doing, and Change is NOT failure. Somehow you need to say "ENOUGH, I WILL NOT BE LIKE THIS ANYMORE".  If you don't like how the story ends, change the story. I will not be sick like this forever. I will not be debilitated forever. I WILL go into remission and be my self again. 

THIS DISEASE IS NOT WHO I AM!!!

Life is to short to allow something, anything to define who you are.

Other than God.

But I believe that the choises we make are not permanent.

They may change our situation but not who "WE ARE".

I may have to sit and sleep in this stupidly amazing chair, and it may hurt to take a step. 

This is NOT where I will be forever. someday I will move and work like im used too.

We are new every morning. 

We are blessed beyond measure.

Stop whining Sue and change. (thats me talking to me)

Do one thing today, even if it is small, because that is all I can do.

But I will make that happen no matter how small it is.

Life is to short, the final chapeter is not written.

SO whatever your going through, physical, mental or spiritual, 

"This to shall pass."

SO put your big girl pnties on, rain boots and grab a snack cause this ride just go a whole lot funnier, and we will overcome this day and we will PREVAIL.

Be blessed today

Always 

Suszi