My Chair is My mission field

Good morning friends,

I was sad the other day when I heard Maya Angelou died.

She was really an inspiration to me.

I watched an interview once with her and Oprah, and it was life changing for me.

She was so deliberate and easy with her words.

She talked about adversity and her mother and grandmother. 

Being raised in poverty and overcoming all that.

Her faith was forefront in all she talked about. 

And like she says above I really don't remember the content but how it made me feel.

Life is like that so much. Fleeting glances of peoples lives, glimpses as they float in and out again.

I have had connections with people I have never actually spoken too. I have felt pain of others I have never met. How is that? I believe the Holy Spirit opens those doors. That God uses those moments to His glory.

My goal in life and on this journey is very simple.

Let others see Jesus in you,

Today Jesus in my house in an uncaffinated, pj wearing, crazy hair flying, person.

I don't have the energy to run out and evangelize. I doubt I could shower today. 

But I can be used right here in my chair.

I once heard an interview by Chuck Colson, with and elderly woman in a nursing home.

She thought her life was over, there was nothing more God could use her to do. So she prayed God would take her home to heaven.

God said "No, I have much more to do". 

She decided to start writing letters to prisoners. Sitting in her tiny room, not being able to physically go out, she won like 1,500 people to Christ. She never met any of them. But SHE made a difference for the Kingdom. When God asks us to move we should never ask how? or why? but, how far? 

We need to live and minister where God sets us. I always wanted to be a foreign missionary. I wanted to go to Africa and Asia and win souls for God. That is Not what God had in mind for me.

I taught and spoke into students lives, I moved to Appalachia and spoke into peoples lives there. I adopted children. I have a constant string of people in my home. And I get to share with you.

That is MY mission field. If I never leave this country, or travel to huts in Africa, or become the next Joyce Meyer. I am right now in my mission. Being content to minister from "My Chair". Because if my life mattered to bring only one person to God it was all worth it. 

Sometimes it isn't a big production, but just a hug. A soft word or a whispered prayer.

Being used by the Father.

Right here, right now.

The circumstances don't need to be perfect before you go.

Just open up your heart and life to the moving or the Holy Spirit, and

You will be used.

Be blessed today.

Always

Suszi

When I fail, I find grace

Good Morning friends,

It has been a while since I last wrote, but life has a way of doing that.

Mostly cause if I wrote it would be whining and horrid stories of pain and blechh...who wants to hear that all the time?

I hate to complain or grouch. I don't like droning on and on about me, me, me.

I want to inspire and challenge, bring hope.

I often talk about the prayer I said just over a year ago.

"God, break all those things in my life I put before you"

Went something like that.

Well in hindsight I probably wouldn't have said those words had I known.

But I also am so grateful for the journey and the pain. The fire and the purging of my life.

Please don't try this at home. 

It is not for the faint of heart. 

I am a strong person, both mentally and physically, but there are times I ask "What did I do"?

So much pain , so much loss.

BUT,

I sleep better at night, I can say no to people, I stay home more. I am more quiet and I have let God pour His healing balm on my soul.

I have talked to several people about being sick lately and how that affects my life.

How no I didn't ask to be sick but I can choose how it makes me act.

Some days I fail.

Most days lately.

But isn't that what grace is about?

Learning how to carry myself with honor and dignity.

How words seem meaningless, but once they are out of your mouth cannot be taken back. 

I am learning to listen and not talk, which is super hard for me.

I observe more, look deeper at peoples lives, look at what is around me during those stressful times,

Knowing where God is at all times and what He wants me to to do or say.

Knowing His grace is sufficient for me.

I need inspiration today, I need to get my creativity moving.

I need to not dwell on the negative things that HAPPEN to me and focus on the GIFTS GIVEN to me.

I want to see change today, I want to purge and simplify.

I want to see God work in me today.

I want to bless and lighten others loads.

I want to be the kind of friend, I want to have.

Be blessed today.

Always

Suszi

Mother Theresa ain't got nothing on me!

Good Morning friends,

I Saw this quote the other day and it really spoke to me.

We spend so much time praying for answers, that when WE ARE the answer we don't see it.

We don't have to wait for God to use us, He already is.

God called the 12 disciples and they didn't have credentials, fancy degrees, or were even "Born Again".

They were fisherman, tax collector and Zealot. They were smelly, not trust worthy and obsessive.

Jesus used them anyway

I want to be used like that.

If we have to wait for everything to be "Perfect" it will never happen.

Like waiting for a baby until your finances are better.

We also may not be used like Billy Graham for years and years, many generations.

Jesus had (what we think) a 3 year ministry. He also has touched many, many , many generations.

We may not ever do anything "Great" or worthy of greatness.

Sometimes the smallest things make the most difference. 

I had a friend once who didn't do anything until God "told" them what to do/

They spent so much time looking for signs and confirmation, they weren't doing anything.

He gave us a guide book. The Bible, A communication device, Prayer and a school, Church.

All we need to succeed at spiritualism.

I don't think you need to know apologetics, or systemic theology to understand what God wants you to do.

Not that those things are bad, but I don't think it has to be that hard.

Love, kindness, joy, forgiveness, patience...

Even I can do that. And that is saying something. 

We don't have to be another Mother Theresa, or Dali Lama and change the world.

Maybe God wants you to reach One person. Are you ready?

Are you willing? Are you qualified?

Yep sure are.

So go get em'

Where will he use you?

Can He use you?

 I hope so.

Be blessed today

Always 

Suszi 

Preordained Junk

Good Morning friends,

Yesterday I was once again reminded of the sovereignty of God in our lives.

How He preordains situations and movements.

You would think it wouldn't surprise me, He can use our every step but yet He does.

I have another disease. It is called "Pickeriodous"

I love junk! 

I love garbage and dumpsters, junk yards, yard sales and antique stores.

AND Wellllllll...my garage shows it. And I have nearly one of everything in it.

It is like the Tardis (Dr.Who) It looks smaller on the outside then the inside.

Now I found someone who thinks my "treasures" have some value.

SOO excited but not as excited as my hubby.

About once a week or so when I round up a pile of stuff I think they may want, I head to the store.

(Pond Antiques, by the Pit. Flea Market Saturday the 17th 9-4) 

I was going to go Monday but didn't and last Friday I was too and didn't, I even had my coat on once to go and just didn't. 

(Here is where God works)

So yesterday I grabbed a few pieces and headed down there. I walked into the store and there stood the owner almost in tears. She had a rough morning to say the least.

When she saw me she was so excited, and said you are just the person I wanted to see today.

You always bring sunshine with you.

I listened to her story of her day and encouraged her. I didn't preach or apostleisize.

I said" wow God sure must of knew that, you needed that today."

I stayed a while and we talked and haggled on my items. (I LOVE THAT oh I told you that already)

I just listened and opened my heart to her. If I had gone in there with the surly attitude I had that morning I doubt God could have used me that well. I didn't feel the need to pray with her, or start a prayer meeting. But just to share some of Jesus with skin on. A smile, a silent prayer, a hug, a laugh, a blessing.

By the time I left, she was happy and smiling and holding her head higher and her shoulders squarer.

She thanked me and gave me a gift (LOVE those too)

 Her day was better, NOT because of me, despite of me, BUT because of Jesus.

I love being used by HIM.

Can you be a blessing today?

Hold a door, smile, say hello.

Blessings to you

Always

Suszi

Sorry a little Hillbilly is showing

Good Morning friends.

Yesterday something happened and it has me sad and perplexed.

A family came home upset and I guess a few people I had on my Facebook, who I thought were nice, were discussing me and the things I share here with others.

I don't ever mind if people share my blog. I want it to be shared. My intention is to help people find hope.

To let others know they are not the only one in the world who hurts, or struggles.

I don't say anything to pat myself on the back or want kudos.

OR so my words and thoughts can be twisted and used against my family.

I do not embellish. I do Not lie.

I share my heart and the things God wants me too.

I am sure there are people who don't believe all I say or agree with it.

But nothing I say is nothing more than my heart and not really up for misuse.

I shared about my illness to bring awareness not pity. Yes I am sick, Yes it is hard, No you cannot compare it to others, it is NOT easily understood. It is my new reality and no I can't work a "real" full time job. But I do work on weekends and when I want and I make $75 dollars an hour. I also am a mom to a special needs child who requires non stop attention and another child who I am trying raise to have integrity and be Godly.

If people want to twist my thoughts and words that is your prerogative. BUT please do not use them to hurt my family. My life is mine. Do Not use it against me.

I love God, that I will not apologize for.

I do Not force this on you, I encourage you to see things from a different perspective.

And as you can see I have a a little hillbilly showing. I don't like people to use my words against my family.

Oops there it is showing again.

Please today, remember your words can hurt.

You can't take those words back.

So be blessed today.

Always

Suszi

An empty nest..is for the birds.

Good Morning friends,

I have been thinking this morning in lieu of Mother's Day coming up,

of all things being a mother.

My being a mother is Not typical,

I have 3 beautiful children.

The first was a Gift, she was not an "accident" but she wasn't planned, but her life has blessed me beyond measure. She is an amazing woman, who has needed very little therapy to get over me being her parent. I count that as a win.

She married an amazing young man and is making a life preparing to someday be a mom herself.

I try not to nag her about it but, as much as I loved being a mom, I can't wait to be a grandma.

My middle child, she is 8 years younger and 8 years older then her siblings. We got custody of her at age 10 and she is now nearly 16.

As many of you know she has a rare genetic disorder. Parenting her is a group effort. She requires constant supervision, and some days it is hard to handle all the problems. God gave her to us for a reason, and although some days I wanna throw in the towel, the verse that says what ever you do for the least of these. streams through my head. She is my Diamond.   She started out dark and has gone through more in her short life then most people could endure. She is happy, loving and forgiving. She has taught me so many things about life. 

My baby, we received at birth, I got to see him be born, cut the cord and hold this tiny miracle. He is my Heart. Not born of my body but of my heart. I often wonder why at nearly 40 I received this blessing, and I really believe God has a sense of humor. Let's take an almost empty nester, crazy Irish hillbilly woman and give her a hot blooded Latin boy. Now that is funny. He stole my heart as he does with most people.

Big brown eyes and a gentle spirit, also an unquenchable amount of energy, And a very strong will.

He will do amazing things in his life, and I am so glad God let me be a part of it.

You see when I was young I always wanted 12 kids, boys actually. God gave me one girl.

I only ever had one pregnancy, no miscarriages nothing. We tried everything, to no avail.

The one thing I learned is to be patient and God would give me the desires of my heart.

I had to wait 17 years for my second child then almost 2 more for the middle one. 

Although it isn't always easy, and my hillbilly comes out way to much. I believe God has a reason, a plan and a purpose for this journey I call Motherhood.

I have learned that it doesn't matter how your children are "born" to you.

What matters is the call God puts before you, not easy but, wonderful.

This Gift

This Diamond

This Heart

 all 3 special, and needy, and amazing.

This is the purpose for my life.

I may never be an empty nester, but why would I want to be when I can live my life in such 

abundance with the knowledge that God is in control and in HIS time all the desires of your heart

can be given to you. And you never know I may someday get up to 12, that remains to be seen. (wink)

Have a blessed day

And

A wonderful Mother's Day

Always

Suszi

A very short bucket List

Good Morning friends,

I figured since Mother's day was around the corner, I would talk about moms.

I have several women in my life, "Moms" as  you will.

All amazing, my Mother-in-Law Judy, Nana, aunts and friends.

But I wanna talk about my mom.

And two very improtant lessons she taught me the last day of her life.

For those of you  who don't know my mom Blue, went to be with Jesus last October, from COPD.

I guess looking back, the things that highlight themselves about my mom was her humor, her unconditional love for everyone and her tenacity to follow God.

Someday I will walk you through the final day of her life because it was an amazing day.

For now though I just want to look at two things. Fist was her way of making you feel good about yourself.

A friend asked me the other day when we were discussing our grades in school and I said I always did bad except in art or music. They asked "What did your mom say about that?" and immediatly her responce came to mind. She would say "Try harder, but as long as you love God and remain the beautiful person you are, that is all that matters."

That is one thing she taught me and probably the thing I miss most, is her encouragement. She always said I was beautiful, because what I have inside will always shine out no matter what I looked like on the outside.

Now with this new diagnosis (see yesterdays blog entry) I wish I had her to say those things.

But thankfully I have those "Other" moms that do.

The second thing is the most important is what she did with the time she had on her death bed.

She was in a kinda coma from lack of oxygen, and when she came out of that she was told we weren't going to fight this disease anymore, her body couldn't do it. She looked at me and said "Isn't that a fine how do you do." Then she said call my sister Mae, so I did and she told her good bye and asked to speak with her son. "She told him he needed to get right with Jesus, and he said something to the effect that it is to late for him, and she replied "It is NOT, all it takes is a few seconds on your knees, NOW get right with Jesus and I will see you in heaven." Well that was pretty much the words she used on everyone she saw or called the next 3 days until she died. Doctors, nurses, family, anyone she could get to sit by her. "Do you know Jesus?" and "You wouldn't lie to a dying woman?" With every breath she won people to Jesus.

My mom wasn't perfect in any way, but she loved God and that was apparent to the final breath when she opened her eyes and said "I see Jesus" and left us.

You hear stories about people who know they are dying and what they did with those final days, skydiving, trips, bucket list stuff. My mom won people to Christ. After that day I only have one item on my bucket list, and that is to share the love of God and show people the way to Heaven.

She never cared if she might embarras herself or worried what people thought of her, only if people came to Christ, and if their Lives were right.

That is the person I want to be.

That is the mom I want to be.

This has been on my heart for months and God is finally making clear to me His plan and purpose for my life.

It isn't to be the perfect wife , mom, teacher, artist, blogger etc. but, to make God's beauty shine through me, so I can tell those I see about Him.

It isn't a big bucket list, but to me it is the only thing I want to do.

I miss my mom this Mothers Day but, I know she is surrounded by those who love her, and she is telling a story or singing a song, and fartting to her hearts content.

I long for the day I see her again.

Be blessed today

If you have a momma hug her.

Always

Suszi