It is well with my soul.....

Good morning friends.

Yesterday I started to feel sick and slept most of the day,

Once I woke up and thought what we often think when we are sick, "I want my Mommy"

There is just something about having your momma there when your sick.

Then of course my next thought was "She isn't here".

Tears would normally fall but didn't I almost felt peace.

Last week after a long talk with my pastors, I feel like I turned a corner in my grief.

For quite a while I felt stuck, I could tell myself to get over it.

Or suck it up and go on.

But for some reason I just couidn't I just felt deeper and deeper darkmess.

All I can say is it was only God who brought me out of the other side.

We prayed and cried and talked and noting new was said but it was just a change of heart, like changing a bandage, it hurts when you take  it off and it rips and pulls, but when you apply ointment and a fresh bandage it is soothing and good.

It wasn't better but a step in the right direction.

This is a journey, not a leisure cruise. 

The Song  It is Well with my Soul

written in 1876 is relivent today as when it was written

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

God doesn't thunder "BE WELL" He whispers peace to my soul.

It makes me long for Heaven. 

I was thinking the other day about the siblings I have that are in Heaven,

and how my mom mourned them, there were 4 and they know the last one

she lost was nearly full term and was a girl.

In those days they werent buried or photographed or help, they were just 

"taken care of" and it gave me joy knowing those babies were finally with their momma too.

I saw her sitting on the porch laughing and rocking them and playing

and spraying them with water and blowing bubbles.  

I saw her joy, heard her laughter, felt the peace.

I know she is happy and well and I am so jealous and long for the day I get to see her.

And meet those babies who my soul longs to meet, the siblings only my soul knows.

Today Peace, I choose it. I need it.

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi