"It's my way or the highway"

Good Morning friends,

Yesterday in church, my spirit was stirred.

Our pastor talked about rocky soil.

Growing up in a farming community, it is easy to see the importance of non-rocky soil.

If we have rocky soil in our heart, nothing can grow.

So, how do we know if the soil is rocky or not?

*Talk more than listening

*You frequently ask "What is in it for me"

*You are more interested in yourself, than others

* Thinking- "I'm ok, but others need help"

*I want others to do it "MY WAY"

* Your not easily molded, shaped, or adjusted easily

*Your unable to be joined to others

*Others must work around us

Am I willing to change?

What rocks do I have that need to go?

I know I can be controlling, and often that causes conflict especially in marriage. So many times in our marriage I made what could have been fun memorable times we're marred by the fact that I needed things done my way, so either do it exactly MY WAY or get out of the way and I will do it myself.

You know that is a ton to bear. When just letting go a little, releases you from that weight.

I have learned all to well the hard way that many others are better at somethings, and just because it isn't done my way doesn't mean it isn't amazing. That I am not perfect and my world isn't going to end, because I didn't get my way.

The hard part of learning this, is that I am the youngest child, with all brothers. The world did revolve around me. I was given all I wanted, everything was handed to me. If I wanted it my way it was done that way. 

It has taken me years to break free of that. Not an easy task.

Many of my family still see me that way, but I have spent so much time changing that in myself. 

Those were hard rocks to remove and painful, but I feel so much lighter because of it.

Being easily shaped , molded or adjusted, was also quite painful.

Have you ever worked with clay? If it is old it cannot even be molded. If you wanted to make it pliable again you had to clean it, chop it up, wet it, and pulverize it, THEN put it through a press to smooth all the chunks out and not only once but repeatably until it was soft again. The thing about this clay is that it is never the same, as how it was when it was created. You cannot use that clay for fine china but, maybe a pitcher of everyday or a flower pot. The delicate vessels can no longer be made. So if you let yourself get so hard and old and spent, you have little to give the potter that He can create that is pristine. It cause Him to have to work harder to use you. If you cannot be molded early before this ridged sets in, it is a long painful process to be made movable once more.

Most of these rocky things in our life sound self centered. What 'I WANT"! Knowing what you want and working toward that is ok, but making yourself crazy and only seeing that goal and nothing else can be bad. Yes I know we need goals, things to reach for, but doesn't it sound so much easier to put the "I WANTS" aside and go for what HE WANTS? I bet often times it will end up being close to what you want.

God knows our hearts.

One of the worship songs we sang yesterday really spoke to my heart.

"Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I have for your kingdoms cause"

I started drawing what I thought that meant, like drugs or alcohol or guns, but those are things of the world, then He showed me what breaks His heart, is His people gossiping and fighting, us being to busy to take time to pray or spend with Him. Those are the kinds of things that break His heart.

Spouses not trying, or people hurting on another.

Wow, Satan really got me last week. He can take something so tiny, and twist it into your soul and make it seem like the world is crashing around you. Even though we know not to let him, he sees when we are weak and watches for those openings. I hadn't been to church in about 3 weeks, and I felt disconnected from the body. That right there is an opening. When we aren't together as a body we weaken, our minds make little things huge. 

Getting our soil right for planting, takes time.

It isn't about what you give or do, our works won't get us there.

Faithful endurance is what is needed.

you don't go to a field and pick up the rocks one time either.

If you look on the edge of the field there is a pile of rocks.

It takes many times of rock picking, they come to the surface when you turn over the soil.

If there are rocks in the soil below the surface, roots cannot grow, Maturity cannot happen, if maturity cannot happen, fruit will not produced, plants may grow a bit but will soon whither and die.

The roots are what holds us strong, keep us straight, that is how we are fed, it is how we mature.

Psalms 1:3 Trees planted by water have strong roots that have an endless supply of water and food. Those in the dessert only few remain, they don't grow strong, they are only fed, rarely. We need to  plant ourselves where we will be fed. In that safe, place of feeding and health, those rocks can be dug out and fresh soil can turned into the old to bring life to us.

Today pray about the rocks in your heart.

What is it you need to dig out?

Have a blessed day

Suszi

Are we there Yet?

God Restores Job     

Job 42   The Message

10-11 After Job had interceded for his friends, God restored his fortune—and then doubled it! All his brothers and sisters and friends came to his house and celebrated. They told him how sorry they were, and consoled him for all the trouble God had brought him. Each of them brought generous housewarming gifts.

12-15 God blessed Job’s later life even more than his earlier life. He ended up with fourteen thousand sheep, six thousand camels, one thousand teams of oxen, and one thousand donkeys. He also had seven sons and three daughters. He named the first daughter Dove, the second, Cinnamon, and the third, Darkeyes. There was not a woman in that country as beautiful as Job’s daughters. Their father treated them as equals with their brothers, providing the same inheritance.

16-17 Job lived on another 140 years, living to see his children and grandchildren—four generations of them! Then he died—an old man, a full life.

Good Morning friends.

I am still pondering Job. For 41 and a half chapters in Job, It talks about the struggles and horrific tragedy that came onto Job.

Only 7 verses describe the restoration of Job. His fortunes and family are doubled and He is blessed with long life and many blessings.

I think the whole point is to show the journey. 

 In every journey there are hard parts. 

Hope for the end is always the best part of a journey. 

How many times have you left home, only to return and say "It is soooo good to be home"

I wonder if that is how we will feel when we get to heaven?

I look so forward to the end of my life journey, but hopefully that is many years away.

For now this journey of pain and confusion, or of enlightenment maybe a better description, I travel on weary.

Recently I went on a long car trip and I laughed at my 7 year old son. "Are we ever going to get there?"

or "I am going to kiss the ground when I get there."

Sometimes Looking forward to the end of the journey, it helps take the edge off of the travel woes.

I am learning to be patient in my journey. Not be caught saying "Are we there yet?" 

Taking from the journey each obstacle as a learning time. Ok God what are you trying to show me here?

Not stepping on the gas, to get us there quicker, but trying to enjoy the scenery as we go even if it is endless prairie or majestic mountains. Finding God in every element along the way.

Even if the journey is painful and you have tears in your eyes and the pain sticks in your throat and your chest is heaving, we have to strain to see God. The road signs are blurry, but with each passing one we know the journey is going the right way and getting shorter. 

Wayside rest stops are designed as a resting spot. You can change, clean up, view the map to make sure your going the right way, stretch the tiredness out of our limbs. You leave them feeling renewed and refreshed and a little wiser. You can make it a few more miles now.

When I was a kid we would travel in a moter home all over the country. At that time we didn't have electronics or tv's or any entertainment really for the road. I remember being so bored, but also looking for amazing things. Seeing wonders there but only if we watch for them. Sometimes we need to get bored with what is around us and go back to simplicity in order to see the wonder of God.

Put down the phone, turn off the computer and just look out the window.

Enjoy the journey.

When you are weary stop and rest. 

Maybe we can't really say how long the journey will be, 

but each day we are assured it is getting closer to our final destination.

Be blessed along the way

Always 

Suszi

eliminate the negative

Ecclesiastes 10:2

Wise thinking leads to right living; Stupid thinking leads to wrong living.

Good morning friends,

I have had one line of a song in my head for 2 days now, maybe cause I only remember that much. Isn't great how God can use something so mundane and spur you onto something exciting?

"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative" (and something something calling the whole thing off)

I really don't remember it all, but this one line is my purpose.

I play this game on my tablet called Flippix and you have a grid in various sizes and it is like backwards sudoku. You look at the numbers and chose the squares that are positive and negative. If you guess them all, it automatically takes out the negative, and if life were a 5x5 square that would be easy. but a 20x 20 grid is much harder. You can figure out some of the positive but you can get stuck and it makes you unsure what to do. Many time if you take out the negative you know is negative the picture becomes clearer.

In our lives there is so much negative. It is almost everywhere. Sometimes we can't see the positive for the negative.

Often if we eliminate a few negative things, the positive becomes bigger.

A rainy, cloudy day, dark clouds hover, suddenly a tiny split in the clouds comes down. It is spectacular. A bright shining spot, though small it has the ability to wipe away darkness, and bring peace, erase weariness and bring a smile to calm you. 

A ray of hope.

It is amazing that our God would create something so spectacular that is meant for just us.

His majesty and power wield awesome power.

So how do we get that ray of light started, when storm clouds smother us?

Glad you asked.

Pray for God to reveal a weak spot where light can squeak through.

It maybe as little as changing the radio station, or not watching a TV show, or as hard as unfriending someone for real. 

Family is tough, but distance and boundaries are good.

Have you got someone in your life who drains the life out of you?

Just being around them is exhausting?

I have. I much prefer having those who speak into my life, breath a healing rejuvenating breath into your life.

Those friends are keepers.

So my next question is even harder...

Are you a positive life breather? Or are you a negative life sucker?

I am not going to judge you, that is for you and God to decide.

It is so funny cause when I looked up a verse for this the first ones to pop up were from Job. I think God is trying to tell me something.

Today I root out the cause for negativity in my house and that is clutter.

WOW, do I have it.

Need anything? anything at all I got it. It is yours come get it.

Spring is trying to break through this horrid winter and I think if we all put our flip flops on we can conquer it for good...Who is with me?

Have a blessed day

Always

Suszi

When sorrow shakes you...

Good Morning friends,

Well my vacation was good and bad.

The weather and green and flowers and warmth, were amazing.

I was able to serve my friend, by helping ready her house for sale.

She then blessed me with so many tools to start making fairies.

It was also a tragic time, my family (dad, brother) let me down once again.

I don't know what hurts worse, losing someone through death, or having them alive and lying and treating you badly? When you trust someone, and love them unconditionally there is no room for hurt.

When that "love" is superficial, there is pain at every turn.

When your looks are embarrassing to them, and your parenting doesn't work like they think it should.

It hurts beyond compare, to have those close to you be ashamed.

This is where I hold up my head and say "This will not hurt me" but. more importantly "This will not separate me from the love of God"

When bad things happen and life goes not as planned, He is there.

My dear friend sent this to me today and having someone who understands.

Thanks Teretha.

When Your burdens Seem to weigh You down Or the road seems to far to carry on Just look to the hills You will find Your help which comes from the Lord Even when You feel You can't go on, let Your soul cry out to the Lord. Cry on....God understands Your tears.

He knows how much that You can bear, the faintest cries He hears. Cry on, when there's nothing else to say. Soon He'll wipe all Your tears away. ~Song by "Commissioned" Be encouraged by these words.

Sometimes life doesn't seem to go as planned.

Once again God comforts me. The radio or friends words send healing.

The one thing that stood out on the radio, was they gave a little summery on Job. And if you have been reading lately I have been looking to that part of the Bible for help.

What I heard was that God blessed Job at the end with more then he had.

That you want to shout" hang in there Job it turns out OK."

In the midst of struggle it is hard to see the end or the joy or reward. But God knows, so we need to trust Him that the end will be to His glory.

My mom always said "This too shall Pass"

and It will, but the scars will remain to remind you of the pain.

I pray today God shines down His grace and peace on me and You.

I may feel joy and Love that is unconditional and not with strings attached.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Always

Suszi

STEP

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you—

Job 5 says

and

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you.

Good Morning friends,

Yesterday was a very hard day for some of you.

It was the one year anniversary of the death of a wonderful young man in our church.

Will was loved and his parents are so dear to me. God has done some amazing things through this situation and like Job we learn to praise God even in tough times.

It seemed that was the start of the deaths last year for me.

It has felt like a long time since I have felt released from grief.

I no longer feel the suffocating weight of  pain and loss.

My joy has returned to an extent, but this has been the winter of discontent literally.

I am going to start in depth study of Job. Today I made a list of the qualities of Job.

I guess being like job first requires we get to know Job.

He was honest inside and out.

He was a man of his word.

Totally and whole heartily devoted to God.

He hated evil passionately.

He cared deeply about the souls of his children.

He wholly relied on God.

I would love to say "Yep,  I got this. I am just like that."

But sadly no.

I am honest almost to a fault, but I don't think I live it inside and out.

I am more of a person who speaks many words.

I am devoted to God. Do I do it whole heartily? no.

I do hate evil, but yet it sneaks in when we are unaware.

I do care about the souls of my children, but unlike Job would, I don't sacrifice to it.

I do rely on God, but I am also strong willed and opinionated, I want to things done now so lets "Get -r-done" (sorry hillbilly is showing a bit there)

Ok so this is not going to be easy. 

Nothing worth it, is ever easy is it?

God knew Job's heart. He knew he wouldn't curse Him.

God had complete faith in Job, as well as Job did for God.

Does God Have that kind of faith in me? 

I hope He has a lot more for me than I have for Him and

that I cannot be measured by comparison.

Oh how lovely is Grace?

How does one live through endless trials?

How much can one human bear?

I guess...

As many as it takes for God to rule supreme and

only as much as I take on, He can handle it without my help.

I always say, "We need to do more than survive. We need to live!!"

Take a step, we cannot over come or find an end to this journey if we don't just step.

This is probably all stuff I have said before, but it is also what I needed to hear today in my spirit, so I can drag my lazy butt out of this amazing chair, and STEP.

Have a blessed day. 

STEP.

Always

Suszi

GGGGRRRRRrrrrrr.

Good morning friends,

I wasn't going to write today, because I have been on edge grouchy for 2 days.

I don't like being sick, I am sick of cold, I want my flip flops, My kids and hubby are making me crazy, I haven't had coffee in 2 days, I am grouchy, I REALLY want my flip flops.

Sorry

Someone posted on their wall today that it is HIGH 5 DAY, give those around you a high 5 for being the best them they can be. Immediately my brain thinks how many times can you high 5 someone in the head before you get arrested? See told you a bad mood.

I had so many friends who needed prayer today and that is so important, maybe if I concentrated on that and my mood less, in my mind it works, we will see.

So this is my verse for the day

So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books. 2 Peter 1:5-8MSG

I was going to put a different verse but this one was up there and convicted me.

I need to be more alert of my attitudes, and mouth.

I need to act like the mature christian I am.
OK COFFEE. my world is right again.
Today is the day for Ian's 7th birthday party.
I am so proud of him and all he does, well most of what he does.
He is a very active boy and also he is Latino, and hot blooded.
He does everything with passion. Good and bad.
We are celebrating with his first friend party.
A Halo / Nerf War. Junk food, sugar, tons of boys.
His eyes are sparkly this morning with excitement. I love when he is like that.
I sure love that boy so much.
Keep me in your prayers today.
thank you my friends.

Always
Suszi.

\

It isn't going to get me down.

Good Morning friends,

I apologize for my distance lately, I have been going through a trial.

I have been sick most of my life, never knowing what caused it. I have been told I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and many other things. I have felt like I have a huge infection for a long time, without the cause. I in the past few weeks have been diagnosed with Behcet's Syndrome and there is now a probability that I also have an additional auto immune disease with that. An auto immune disease is when your body attacks the cells are healthy. Mine is a a disease of the Mucus membranes. It causes boils and blisters, scarring and a lot of pain. I am currently in the midst of a 2 year episode. Stress causes out breaks as well as exhaustion. I am learning to relax and rest. But if you know me at all, you know how hard that is for me

I also have to learn to change my life style. How I eat, exercise, stress. Change is not easy for me. My biggest fear is losing my eye site. I thought that was happening but found out yesterday the issues I have been having are due to age not Behcets, So I am under constant supervision from 6 doctors and at least the symptoms can be treated. It has made me happy to find out that this hasn't all been in my head, or psychological which is how you feel after so many years of not knowing. 

I now have to accept myself the way I am, The meds I will have to take make you gain weight, so I think I will never be my high school weight again but God works in wondrous ways, I just want to be healthy.

I just thank God my sight isn't going, that was very frightening to me, I guess it makes me feel better about glasses since My sight isn't at risk. PRAISE JESUS, and I will continue to pray it doesn't get to be bad.

Thanks for all the support from my friends and My husband and family.

You never know what life is going to throw at you, but standing in grace and peace knowing God is in control, makes me feel so much better. It is not my place to worry, but pray and give it to God.

Thanks so much for the prayer.

Always

Suszi