When sorrow shakes you...

Good Morning friends,

Well my vacation was good and bad.

The weather and green and flowers and warmth, were amazing.

I was able to serve my friend, by helping ready her house for sale.

She then blessed me with so many tools to start making fairies.

It was also a tragic time, my family (dad, brother) let me down once again.

I don't know what hurts worse, losing someone through death, or having them alive and lying and treating you badly? When you trust someone, and love them unconditionally there is no room for hurt.

When that "love" is superficial, there is pain at every turn.

When your looks are embarrassing to them, and your parenting doesn't work like they think it should.

It hurts beyond compare, to have those close to you be ashamed.

This is where I hold up my head and say "This will not hurt me" but. more importantly "This will not separate me from the love of God"

When bad things happen and life goes not as planned, He is there.

My dear friend sent this to me today and having someone who understands.

Thanks Teretha.

When Your burdens Seem to weigh You down Or the road seems to far to carry on Just look to the hills You will find Your help which comes from the Lord Even when You feel You can't go on, let Your soul cry out to the Lord. Cry on....God understands Your tears.

He knows how much that You can bear, the faintest cries He hears. Cry on, when there's nothing else to say. Soon He'll wipe all Your tears away. ~Song by "Commissioned" Be encouraged by these words.

Sometimes life doesn't seem to go as planned.

Once again God comforts me. The radio or friends words send healing.

The one thing that stood out on the radio, was they gave a little summery on Job. And if you have been reading lately I have been looking to that part of the Bible for help.

What I heard was that God blessed Job at the end with more then he had.

That you want to shout" hang in there Job it turns out OK."

In the midst of struggle it is hard to see the end or the joy or reward. But God knows, so we need to trust Him that the end will be to His glory.

My mom always said "This too shall Pass"

and It will, but the scars will remain to remind you of the pain.

I pray today God shines down His grace and peace on me and You.

I may feel joy and Love that is unconditional and not with strings attached.

I hope you all have a blessed day.

Always

Suszi

STEP

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you—

Job 5 says

and

From one disaster after another he delivers you;

    no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you.

Good Morning friends,

Yesterday was a very hard day for some of you.

It was the one year anniversary of the death of a wonderful young man in our church.

Will was loved and his parents are so dear to me. God has done some amazing things through this situation and like Job we learn to praise God even in tough times.

It seemed that was the start of the deaths last year for me.

It has felt like a long time since I have felt released from grief.

I no longer feel the suffocating weight of  pain and loss.

My joy has returned to an extent, but this has been the winter of discontent literally.

I am going to start in depth study of Job. Today I made a list of the qualities of Job.

I guess being like job first requires we get to know Job.

He was honest inside and out.

He was a man of his word.

Totally and whole heartily devoted to God.

He hated evil passionately.

He cared deeply about the souls of his children.

He wholly relied on God.

I would love to say "Yep,  I got this. I am just like that."

But sadly no.

I am honest almost to a fault, but I don't think I live it inside and out.

I am more of a person who speaks many words.

I am devoted to God. Do I do it whole heartily? no.

I do hate evil, but yet it sneaks in when we are unaware.

I do care about the souls of my children, but unlike Job would, I don't sacrifice to it.

I do rely on God, but I am also strong willed and opinionated, I want to things done now so lets "Get -r-done" (sorry hillbilly is showing a bit there)

Ok so this is not going to be easy. 

Nothing worth it, is ever easy is it?

God knew Job's heart. He knew he wouldn't curse Him.

God had complete faith in Job, as well as Job did for God.

Does God Have that kind of faith in me? 

I hope He has a lot more for me than I have for Him and

that I cannot be measured by comparison.

Oh how lovely is Grace?

How does one live through endless trials?

How much can one human bear?

I guess...

As many as it takes for God to rule supreme and

only as much as I take on, He can handle it without my help.

I always say, "We need to do more than survive. We need to live!!"

Take a step, we cannot over come or find an end to this journey if we don't just step.

This is probably all stuff I have said before, but it is also what I needed to hear today in my spirit, so I can drag my lazy butt out of this amazing chair, and STEP.

Have a blessed day. 

STEP.

Always

Suszi

GGGGRRRRRrrrrrr.

Good morning friends,

I wasn't going to write today, because I have been on edge grouchy for 2 days.

I don't like being sick, I am sick of cold, I want my flip flops, My kids and hubby are making me crazy, I haven't had coffee in 2 days, I am grouchy, I REALLY want my flip flops.

Sorry

Someone posted on their wall today that it is HIGH 5 DAY, give those around you a high 5 for being the best them they can be. Immediately my brain thinks how many times can you high 5 someone in the head before you get arrested? See told you a bad mood.

I had so many friends who needed prayer today and that is so important, maybe if I concentrated on that and my mood less, in my mind it works, we will see.

So this is my verse for the day

So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others. With these qualities active and growing in your lives, no grass will grow under your feet, no day will pass without its reward as you mature in your experience of our Master Jesus. Without these qualities you can’t see what’s right before you, oblivious that your old sinful life has been wiped off the books. 2 Peter 1:5-8MSG

I was going to put a different verse but this one was up there and convicted me.

I need to be more alert of my attitudes, and mouth.

I need to act like the mature christian I am.
OK COFFEE. my world is right again.
Today is the day for Ian's 7th birthday party.
I am so proud of him and all he does, well most of what he does.
He is a very active boy and also he is Latino, and hot blooded.
He does everything with passion. Good and bad.
We are celebrating with his first friend party.
A Halo / Nerf War. Junk food, sugar, tons of boys.
His eyes are sparkly this morning with excitement. I love when he is like that.
I sure love that boy so much.
Keep me in your prayers today.
thank you my friends.

Always
Suszi.

\

It isn't going to get me down.

Good Morning friends,

I apologize for my distance lately, I have been going through a trial.

I have been sick most of my life, never knowing what caused it. I have been told I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and many other things. I have felt like I have a huge infection for a long time, without the cause. I in the past few weeks have been diagnosed with Behcet's Syndrome and there is now a probability that I also have an additional auto immune disease with that. An auto immune disease is when your body attacks the cells are healthy. Mine is a a disease of the Mucus membranes. It causes boils and blisters, scarring and a lot of pain. I am currently in the midst of a 2 year episode. Stress causes out breaks as well as exhaustion. I am learning to relax and rest. But if you know me at all, you know how hard that is for me

I also have to learn to change my life style. How I eat, exercise, stress. Change is not easy for me. My biggest fear is losing my eye site. I thought that was happening but found out yesterday the issues I have been having are due to age not Behcets, So I am under constant supervision from 6 doctors and at least the symptoms can be treated. It has made me happy to find out that this hasn't all been in my head, or psychological which is how you feel after so many years of not knowing. 

I now have to accept myself the way I am, The meds I will have to take make you gain weight, so I think I will never be my high school weight again but God works in wondrous ways, I just want to be healthy.

I just thank God my sight isn't going, that was very frightening to me, I guess it makes me feel better about glasses since My sight isn't at risk. PRAISE JESUS, and I will continue to pray it doesn't get to be bad.

Thanks for all the support from my friends and My husband and family.

You never know what life is going to throw at you, but standing in grace and peace knowing God is in control, makes me feel so much better. It is not my place to worry, but pray and give it to God.

Thanks so much for the prayer.

Always

Suszi

That don't impress me much.

Good morning friends,

I know these are fewer and far between, life sometimes takes over.

Are there people who make you crazy? Or ones you dislike?

Yep me too.

God has been showing me lately how to love the unlovable.

I grew up in a house that always had tons of people coming and going.

All manner of folks, Rich, poor, dirty, hungry, lonely.

My parents never turned anyone away.

Our house was a safe zone, you could talk, drink coffee and laugh.

But you knew you were loved. No matter who you were.

My mom was not easily impressed, so fashion or labels meant little to her,

but peoples souls were. 

I like to think I am like that, OK I love fashion, gotta have me a purse.

But titles and accolades mean little to me. I am not impressed by letters behind your name.

It doesn't mean you are better just like to study.

I hope I look to peoples hearts. Money does NOT make the man. Bank account balances mean little.

I have seen super rich who are horridly unhappy and bottom rung poor who were the happiest.

It is more about being content and happy no matter where you are.

My Grandfather, was a pastor, raised 13 kids in a dirt floor, non electric cabin,

He prayed that 4 generations of his family would never win a great amount of money (lotto)

and my mom prayed that the next 4 generations wouldn't either.

Why? They knew contentment where God put them. I am a trailer living, used car driving, thrift store shopping, second hand loving person.

And yes I am happy, oh there are things I wish I had, but I also learned young,God will give us all the desires of our heart. I have lived in my dream house, drove an amazing car, carried the bag I have always wanted.

So where does true contentment and unconditional love come from?

They come from a heart that trusts God is in control. That He really does supply all our needs according to His riches. We can learn the true meaning of faith, and trust by relying on God, and knowing He is in control.

Once we had no food in our house at all, I mean none. My mom had us set the table and pray. We asked her why and she said with such confidence God would supply with a smile on her face.

As soon as Amen was muttered, the doorbell rang. When we opened it our porch was full of food, and no one in site to identify for the delivery. That moment showed me  Faith in action. So if God can take care of us, why do we fret and worry? OK so human nature plays a part, but it is so much easier to give it to God.

Oh I worry, fret and stress.  God always shows me HE is in control.

We can come to Him no matter how we look or smell. We don't have to prove anything to Him. We 

can just come. With our sin and nasty junk, with our addictions and pain. He doesn't want perfect, cause if He did He could have made us that way, instead He wants us like we are.  Don't take for granted the things He gives you. Thank Him continually, and find contentment in Him and not a place or situation. IN HIM.

He's got your back.

Where can I learn to trust Him with my circumstances?

My health, finances, children etc.

Ask Him to show you

Be blessed

Always

Suszi

I wanna thank you Lord.

Good morning friends,

Have you ever been told you only have this much time to live, or you may never walk again or some sort of news that "Professionals" give? They may know from experience or what has happened to others, or what books have told them would happen. But is there real truth in those predictions? The only one who knows anything is God. Who are we to trust,  anyone above God?

When we are given these types of conditions, we have a choice to make. Do we trust men or do we trust God?

No I am not dying or any such thing. But my thoughts are on how quickly we trust others and how slowly we trust God. We take ideas or words more seriously then we take the truth of God.

Who knows why things happen in life? Why are we tested or feel like we are being judged? Look at Job, (my hero) Loses his home, ALL his children, friends, wealth, everything and yet He praises God. How is it we so quickly forget He is King, sovereign, omnipotent, and all knowing, 

we got through trials and valleys, in our walk and sometimes those valleys or deep and long, time moves slower there, it seems never ending, will you ever see the sun again, will you ever be on a mountain to smell that pure fresh air? It is hard to imagine being in a hot jungly sweaty place where the air rarely moves and you feel smothered by the heat. But it is this place where we learn to trust God. When we are at our lowest, our most desperate that we run to Him. There will always be times when those around you don't understand you, or you feel pain, or just want the ride to stop so you can get off.

Praise Him in the morning, Praise Him in the evening, Praise Him constantly. I want to praise Him. 

I think about the verse that says if we won't the rocks will cry out. Hmmm Talking rocks? If He can make rocks speak can He not or does He not deserve our praise? 

I need to praise Him with my heart, that is hard with disappointment, I need to praise Him with my body that is weary and weak. I need to praise him with a spirit that is weary from grief, and pain. I need to praise Him when others disappoint me, or talk about me, or judge me. I need to Praise Him with everything that I AM.

What I am is, flawed, scared, unworthy, seasonally depressed, I hate the snow, my kids are making me crazy, my friends are mad at me, the world has let me down, I am also a treasure, a daughter of a KING, loved unconditionally, precious, beautiful, dressed in splendor, Lover of the creator of the universe.

And yet I kinda worship Him Sundays, and pray and read the Word when I remember. I am not passing judgement on anyone, I am talking about me. I am so neglectful of the things of Christ.  

I fail and feel sorry for myself.

I need to praise Him, Dance like no one is looking, Sing when I can no longer hold a tune, look to Him when my eyes no longer see, Listen to him when my ears are deaf, know He is there when my brain and emotions make me second guess everything. 

Praise Him for my situation, Praise HIM, PRAISE HIM.

Thank you Lord.

I wanna thank you Lord.

Thank HIM today for every little thing in your entire being.

Always

Suszi

Lego's just wont come apart.

( these are my sermon notes from the past few weeks above)

(the red area reads as a prayer: Jesus forgive me from my willful disobedience, set me free.)

Mark 1:32-34

32-34 That evening, after the sun was down, they brought sick and evil-afflicted people to him, the whole city lined up at his door! He cured their sick bodies and tormented spirits. Because the demons knew his true identity, he didn’t let them say a word.

Hello Friends,

This verse or verses are the ones our church have been studying the past few weeks.

And I am no theologian, but It has really struck a cord with me.

About what we let get between us and God. Strong holds and foot holds and stuff.

Footholds are those weak places Satan tries to get in and hurt you,

Have you ever had 2 Lego's stuck together and no way are you getting them apart? You bite and dig, use anything necessary to get them apart. So frustrating isn't it. Satan knows the right tool to use to get in that tight spot. Like hurtful words, anger, attitudes etc.

The one that Struck me the hardest was our reactions.

I guess I know if I talk back to someone, or get snotty it is wrong, but I never really thought that the way I react to my husband or kids as sin. I know it can come across rude or inpatient. and that is bad. but the emotion behind the reaction can be sin. I have the past few years tended to get worse in my tone or how I come across as being more sarcastic, and there is the sin. Not that telling your kids to sit and be quiet, or stop fighting, or listen to me, are wrong. But thoughts like "Oh man, can you just shut up and be still"

" Grrr those kids are making me crazy" 

OUCH

I know what sin is, but me being sinful with my kids? wow.

Not that we arnt allowed to be firm and upset with them but where does being Christ like come in?  

Not the first thing to come out lately. 

I love my kids and husband, and Ohh how they make me nuts sometimes.

It is said you hurt the ones you love the most.

Those are the ones who love you at your worst, but also at your best.

That is God. Loves us at our worse and best. No questions asked.

So how do we act? Not the way I am.

I have a huge, personality and Irish and a hillbilly.

It is hard to admit my wrong, but that is where grace comes in.

As with life everything is a process, a journey.

One step at a time, one moment at a time.

For me one reaction at a time.

Our homework in church was to pray about where we think those footholds are in our life.

God will show you the areas that need work, prayer and tightening up.

I figure I will take one at a time cause I'm sure there is a lot of areas I need help with and in order to be about the business of the things of God, we MUST be constantly vigil of those areas we are weak in.

So footholds don't become strongholds, and it is harder to get rid of.

Be blessed today

Always

Suszi